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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190525">Mayor of Nothing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/alluringpoehler/pseuds/alluringpoehler'>alluringpoehler</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouseratstan/pseuds/mouseratstan'>mouseratstan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Parks and Recreation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, High School AU, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Political Campaigns, Slow Burn, Unrequited Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:36:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>31,017</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/alluringpoehler/pseuds/alluringpoehler, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mouseratstan/pseuds/mouseratstan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So maybe Ben Wyatt decided to run for Mayor of Partridge at only eighteen because he wanted to impress Cindy Eckert. So what? It was all Student Body President Leslie Knope's fault that he had to resort to this in the first place. She's the one who dashed all his dreams and made him look like a fool.</p><p>So as his mayoral campaign starts to pick up, why can't he stop thinking about her?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Leslie Knope/Ben Wyatt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He stood in the middle of the hallway of Partridge High, his heart worn openly on his sleeve.</p>
<p>The crowd of students, becoming quickly aware of what's happening, parted for him, giving him a tiny center stage platform to say his piece. He held two red roses in his shaky hands, because he didn't have enough money for a bouquet, and he didn't dare ask his parents for a loan.</p>
<p>The whispering started. “What's going on?”</p>
<p>“It's Ben, I think he's going to ask her out!”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, Ben Wyatt? Asking out who?”</p>
<p>“She’ll never say yes, he’s delusional.”</p>
<p>Ben’s hands clenched tighter around the roses, but he winced as a thorn dug into his palm. He could feel the blood on his skin already, but there was nothing he could do about that then. He was on a mission, after all.</p>
<p>She turned to look at him, and Ben gulped nervously.</p>
<p>She was all tumbling brunette hair in perfect waves, tanned skin and brown eyes, only an inch shorter than he was. Her skirt fluttered around her thighs as she turned to look at him, eyes wide, adjusting her backpack strap on her shoulder. “Ben?” she blinked. “Is this for me?”</p>
<p>Vaguely, Ben realized she was actually speaking to him, and he nodded too quickly, too eagerly. “Um,” he cleared his throat, and tried to ignore the harsh whispering on all sides of him. “Cindy Eckert, I just… I just wanted to ask you…”</p>
<p>“Oh God, Benji…” Her voice was soft, and it dipped into something that Ben dreaded was pity. She didn't even take the roses from his hand, squinting oddly at the blood on the stem. “Are you asking me out?”</p>
<p>He bit on his bottom lip, tearing his eyes away from her to stare at his boots. “Um… maybe,” he mumbled, one hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “I mean, yeah. Yeah, I am. Is that okay?”</p>
<p>Cindy sighed, her lips twisting into something like a pout. “Well, I didn't wanna be crude, especially not in front of everyone…” That meaning, she was definitely okay with being crude. She was never exactly the kind of girl to beat around the bush. “But how am I supposed to go out with you, Benji?”</p>
<p>There was another loud outbreak of whispers, too many fingers pointing back and forth between Ben and Cindy, and he felt his face start to heat up. “What do you mean? What's wrong?”</p>
<p>Cindy gave him a look like she might stare at a small child— exasperated, condescending, even something to feel sorry for. “I mean… after that Student Body election?” She took a step closer to him and lowered her voice, as if trying to keep this something private, but they both knew everyone could still hear every word. “You lost. Pretty badly, too, and that doesn't look good for you. It's our senior year, your last shot at Student Body President, and you lost. What am I supposed to do?”</p>
<p>Her words shot through Ben’s heart, and suddenly he was seeing red. Or, more likely, flashes of blonde. He lowered the roses to his side as his hands started to clench into fists, not even caring that his palms were digging into the thorns on the stem. He was too angry to feel it. “This is about…” he breathed, and the crowd hushed, maybe even parted again. “So it's her fault. What you're saying is… I would've had a shot, if it wasn't for her?”</p>
<p>Cindy was just enough in range to pat Ben’s shoulder. “You're cute, Benji, really. But that loss kind of hit hard. You did promise me in our Science lab that you were going to win and get me and you into lunch early every day, remember?”</p>
<p>Ben remembered. Ben definitely remembered. He had every intention of winning Student Body President because dammit, he wanted to impress Cindy, and maybe gain some respect from a few of his classmates. And he thought he was a shoe-in, because who the hell else would run for President at Partridge High?</p>
<p>Apparently, a girl named Leslie Knope.</p>
<p>He knew she was there, he didn't even have to turn around to know. He could sense her, and he was irritated just at the fact that she was here and she witnessed this next-level embarrassing encounter with pretty and perfect and popular Cindy Eckert. Cindy, who was his lab partner, who giggled at his jokes and touched his arm and even once held his hand as they walked out of class, and just as he worked up the nerve to finally ask her out, he was rejected because he lost the Student Body election to Leslie fucking Knope.</p>
<p>Ben took a shaky breath, and didn't dare turn around to face her. He didn't want to see the smug look on her face. “You really needed me to win to go out with me?” Ben asked Cindy, resigning to this kind of torture instead. “It was that important to you?”</p>
<p>Cindy shrugged, her hair flipping over her shoulder. “I kind of really wanted to date the Student Body President.”</p>
<p>Stupid. It was so, so stupid, why didn't he win that election? His campaign was going well, and he had friends, and he was on their junior varsity baseball team, for god's sake, but that wasn't enough? He promised the school so many things, like longer lunches and shorter classes and better snacks in the vending machines, didn't that mean something to them?</p>
<p>Apparently not, because Leslie Knope stepped in like a tiny blonde firecracker and blew his campaign out of the water. And now she was Student Body President, and he was becoming a nobody with no girlfriend to take to Prom at the end of the year. And that was most definitely all her fault.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Ben huffed, and his fists loosened only so he could drop the roses to the hallway floor. His palms stung and he saw red but he didn't care, he’d just use the injury as an excuse to get out of his next class. “Fine, I don't need Student Body President. I can do better than that.”</p>
<p>Cindy tilted her head, holding her books to her chest. Lunch was almost over, and Ben hadn't eaten a thing. “What's better than Student Body President?”</p>
<p><em>I really, really don't know</em>, Ben thought, but he didn't dare say that out loud. “You'll see,” he said instead, bluffing his way through the embarrassment. “Just wait. You'll see.”</p>
<p>The bell rang to signal the end of lunch, and with that, the crowd started to disperse, everyone heading to their lockers to grab books and throw away trash. Even Cindy left, with something like a pitying smile in Ben’s direction, and he watched her walk away, staring at the back of her pristine white backpack, just trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do next.</p>
<p>The crowd was almost completely clear by the time a terribly familiar voice rang out behind him.</p>
<p>“You don't get to blame me for this, you know.”</p>
<p>Indignant, confident, and high-pitched. She begged for him to avert his blame but still managed to sound colder than him in the process. Ben spun on his heels and finally caught that full look at her, exactly how he imagined she was during the scene. Tiny in every which way, dressed in overalls and off-white sneakers with sharpie doodles on the sides, bright blonde curls framing her hard-set face. She was practically glaring at him, holding her history book over her chest, standing with her feet apart, as if at the ready. There was definitely no avoiding this confrontation, but Ben could sure as hell try.</p>
<p>“Knope,” he mumbled, too angry to even call her by her first name. “Don't you have a class to get to?”</p>
<p>She huffed at him. “Funny, don't you? I don't see you going anywhere.”</p>
<p>Ben rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, I have my pride to save, are you happy?”</p>
<p>“No,” she told him, her eyes narrowing in on him. “Because you seem to be under the impression that it's my fault Cindy doesn't wanna go out with you.”</p>
<p>Ben was getting angry all over again, and he certainly didn't want to deal with Leslie Knope. They'd never gotten along, and this was no exception. “Maybe because it kind of is your fault!” he snapped at her. “You knew… everyone in this school knew I wanted to be President, and as soon as I started campaigning, you swooped in and started running against me. I mean, what the hell was that move, except to make me look stupid?”</p>
<p>Leslie scoffed, taking a couple steps closer to him. She had to look all the way up to meet his eyes. “Don't be so self-centered, Wyatt, not everything is about you! I ran for President because I wanted to, and I care about this school and having a proper government body, unlike you, who just wanted to get a pretty girl into bed.”</p>
<p>“That's not why I did it!” Ben lied, because that was totally why he did it. His older brother, Henry, who was already in college, suggested it to him, and he figured it sounded like a very smart idea. Henry had also been the one to suggest Ben go all out and ask Cindy out in the hallway at lunch. He even told Ben to bring her roses, that girls loved roses. Looking now at his bloody palm and the sting in his heart, Ben felt the sudden need to hide out in the bathroom during class and call Henry to yell at him for making him out to be a fool. He pushed past Leslie to do exactly that. “Just… just leave me alone, okay? You've done enough damage.”</p>
<p>Leslie bristled as he walked past, stomping her foot, and it rang against the hall floors. “You're an ass, Wyatt!” she hissed, not even bothering to keep her voice down. Her face was bright red and her nose was scrunched up and for some insane reason, Ben wanted to laugh. “You're cold and callous and a total ass, and maybe I'm glad Cindy rejected you because she deserves better than a jerk.”</p>
<p>Ben only shrugged, and kept walking. The words stung, but he would never let Leslie see that. If he turned around to face her, she would know. “And you're insensitive and selfish,” he told her, just before he rounded the corner to the bathroom. “So leave me alone.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>He told her to leave him alone, so she would do just that.</p>
<p>She won fair and square, sure she knew what she was doing when she began running, but it became so much more. It became a way to show her classmates she wasn’t a pushover and to show her mom that she could amount to something. It was a constant struggle. Leslie wanted to be known for something and if she had to ruin Ben Wyatt’s chances with Cindy Eckert, then so be it.</p>
<p>She didn’t mean <em>everything</em> she said to Ben. Cindy didn’t deserve him, or anyone for that matter. Cindy was insensitive and selfish, just like what Ben called her. But she was also so, so cruel. She didn’t care who got in her way and didn’t care for anyone's feelings. Leslie didn’t know what Ben saw in her, other than his obvious type for tall brunettes.</p>
<p><em>What am I doing?  </em>She was confused on why she was thinking so much about this.</p>
<p>Ben was a jerk too, maybe they deserved each other.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Leslie’s reign in Partridge High didn’t last for long. She was top of the food chain the first week of her win and back at the bottom the next.</p>
<p>Her first week people were constantly praising her, no matter where she went.</p>
<p>“Yeah! Go Leslie Knope!”</p>
<p>“I knew I voted for her for a reason!”</p>
<p>“Look at President Knope go!”</p>
<p>
  <em>President Knope. That sounds nice.</em>
</p>
<p>She got ahead of herself. Nonetheless, she was so excited to finally take on the school. She was finally going to get more things in place; let more girls be in charge of activities, have more freedom in expressing yourself, and start holding meetups at the parks around town.</p>
<p>Then she realized.</p>
<p>
  <em>Student Body President meant nothing.</em>
</p>
<p>Soon, no one was praising her for everything she was doing. She walked around the school like she was no-one anymore. Just another name that was going to be in the yearbook. Leslie would just have to keep her head down and think of something to try and get someone, anyone, to notice what she was doing for the school.</p>
<p>She couldn’t stop thinking about it and wasn’t getting any of her work done. Finally, she decided that she would have to go home at some point. She started walking towards Principle Honey’s office when she heard conversation:</p>
<p>“As crazy as this might seem, I really do think you could have a chance to become Mayor, Ben.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Mayor?! Ben?!</em>
</p>
<p>“You really think so? I mean… I know this is probably a really dumb idea… but I think it could work? Maybe? I just…”</p>
<p>“Ben. You’ll have my vote.” Ben gave him a soft nod and began grabbing his stuff when Leslie realized she should go. She quickly ran out the nearby door and got into her car and sat there, not being able to move. “What the hell?”</p>
<p>She heard a soft tap on her window and when she looked up she saw Ben. She reluctantly opened the door, trying to prepare for a conversation with someone she didn’t want to have.</p>
<p>“Hi.”</p>
<p>“Can I help you?”</p>
<p>“Oh… uh… well…” He was always so caught up with his words, which is probably the main reason he lost the election in the first place. She just stood there with her arms crossed, waiting for any coherent sentence. “I saw you run out and I guess I was just assuming you heard the conversation I was having?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p>
<p>“What conversation?”</p>
<p>“Don’t play dumb with me. We both know you heard it. I’m really not trying to look like the idiot here—”</p>
<p>Leslie dropped her arms, her anger already reaching a boiling point. “You’re not trying to what? You’re seriously thinking about running for Mayor?!”</p>
<p>“It’s the only way I can win her back.” Ben said with a shrug of his shoulders, his words becoming softer.</p>
<p>Leslie laughed under her breath, breaking out into a sardonic smile, and began shaking her head. “You’re insane, Wyatt. You told me to leave you alone and I did just that. Now, why’d you actually come out here to talk to me?”</p>
<p>Ben rubbed the back of his neck, something Leslie noticed he did when he was nervous. “Please don’t mention this to anyone in school.” His voice even softer than it was before. “I know you’ll probably tell Ann, which, whatever, but just don’t tell anyone else. Okay?”</p>
<p>Leslie somewhat felt bad for him. “Fine. I just want you to know that I think this is stupid.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t expect any less,” he replied, a soft smile grazing his lips.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>“Ann. He’s decided to run for <em>Mayor</em>. He’s 18 for God’s sake! Who does he think he is?!” Leslie had been ranting for hours, throwing her arms around and pacing around the room nonstop, much to Ann’s dismay.</p>
<p>“Yeah, but it’s Ben. He’s doing this to impress Caty, or whatever it is, and we both know it.”</p>
<p>“Cindy.” Leslie corrected.</p>
<p>“Right, yeah, but — wait, why do you care?”</p>
<p>“Because! He’s doing this for some girl! I can’t just sit around and let this happen!” Leslie began moving some things around when she finally got to a 2-inch binder with the title, <em>How to Stop Benji Wyatt’s Mayoral Campaign</em>.</p>
<p>Ann looked at the binder Leslie dropped in her lap and then back up at her with an unenthused look on her face. “Yeah, well we’re not going to do <em>this</em>.” She started, moving it to the side of her. “Who knows, it might be fun to watch it all go down.”</p>
<p>Leslie’s eyes widened and her face dropped. “Ann, are you serious? This will be <em>terrible</em>.”</p>
<p>“Les, please leave this alone.” Ann said, shaking her head slowly.</p>
<p>“Fine! Fine. But only because I want to watch how easily this will all crash and burn without my help.” Leslie said pointedly, already excited to see how this will all unfold.</p>
<p>Ann decided to change the subject,“Right. Well, how is everything going with being Ms. Student Body President, hm? No doubt that you’re great at it.” Leslie knew Ann was excited for her. She was the first one to congratulate her after winning.</p>
<p>“Yeah. About that. Everything’s terrible.”</p>
<p>Ann’s face dropped immediately. “What?”</p>
<p>“No-one cares anymore! It was something fun for them to watch and now it means nothing! I can’t get anything done anymore and everyone’s forgotten about it. How could Ben seriously think about doing this just for a girl?” Tears started to prick Leslie’s eyes, she really thought this would be something that could start her career in politics, but it all came crashing down.</p>
<p>Ann moved over to her and immediately wrapped her arms around her. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to Partridge High. You’ll effect so much change and I’m so grateful to be by your side while you’re doing it.”</p>
<p>“Oh Ann, you gentle sea lion. I’m so grateful for you too,” Leslie replied with a sad smile.</p>
<p>“Also, don’t you dare think about Ben right now.” Ann pointed at her, suddenly becoming serious. “We’re going to go to JJ’s and have some waffles and forget all about him.”</p>
<p>“Extra whipped cream?” Leslie asked, trying not to break into laughter at her best friend's sudden mood change.</p>
<p>“Always.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Ben started knocking on his best friend's door at ten on a school night, all he could think about was he had <em> no idea what he was doing. </em></p><p>Just that day it had been announced to all of Partridge that he, an eighteen year old who was still in high school, would be running for <em> Mayor </em>, actual Mayor, and oh my god, what the hell was he thinking? He couldn't even win Student Body President, what made him think he could be Mayor of an entire city?</p><p>The announcement was met with, of course, the appropriate amount of upheaval over an eighteen year old running for Mayor, during which Ben was bombarded with so many questions that he felt like he was going to explode. So many people wanted to talk to him, so many people wanted to hear his story, to know why he was doing this, to take pictures of him and interview him for papers. Way too many people for his liking, and he felt like he was going to explode, and he was one more question away from a full on panic attack.</p><p>It was a goddamn good thing it was announced on a Saturday, because the last thing he wanted to do then was face his classmates. It was bad enough Leslie Knope knew, and he had to put all kinds of trust in her that he absolutely didn't have.</p><p>Well. Leslie Knope and Ann Perkins. God, they never did anything without telling the other, did they? </p><p>And now the news was out, and it was Sunday night and Ben had school the very next morning, and his family was no help. They didn't even know what to say. So here he was, pounding on his best friend's door.</p><p>It was open in no time, and the smiling face of Chris Traeger greeted him, pointing both his fingers out. “Ben Wyatt! You didn't tell me you were coming, I would've prepared more. I was about to go out for my nighttime jog.”</p><p>Ben sighed and pushed his way into Chris’s house. “Sorry, no time for that. I need you, Chris, this is a disaster.”</p><p>Chris shut his front door and followed Ben up to his room, where he collapsed instantly on his bed, dragging his fingers through his hair. Chris frowned, and sat next to Ben. “This is about your campaign for Mayor, isn't it?”</p><p>Ben groaned and covered his face. “What else would it be about? I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, was this a mistake? All of a sudden I'm on the front page of the newspapers and people keep trying to talk to me and… and I've got a team! A whole team of people! And it's just a ton of old people who don't talk to me about anything, because I'm <em> just a kid</em>, but I'm the <em> kid </em> who's running for <em> Mayor</em>. And I just… I think I just really needed someone my age to talk to about this before I have to face the school tomorrow.”</p><p>There was a pause after Ben’s rant, where the silence was a little too loud, and Ben refused to open his eyes, refused to see the look of pity on Chris’s face. “You're scared,” Chris said after a long time, way too long. “And you feel lonely, don't you?”</p><p>“God, I…” Ben started, as if ready to deflect and defend himself. But instead he just deflated. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I don't know the first thing about campaigning, clearly, after the disaster that was my Student Body President campaign. I swear, sometimes I wish I was more like Leslie.”</p><p>The pause that followed these words were even bigger, Ben’s eyes shooting open as he realized what he had just said. It was, essentially, a compliment towards Leslie Knope, and even worse, he didn't regret it. Not at all. No, actually… he meant it.</p><p>“That's interesting you say that,” Chris said, and oh god, did Ben even want to hear it? “Because I <em> literally </em> have the very <em> best </em>idea to help with your campaign struggles.”</p><p>Ben instantly knew where this was going. “Don't say it.”</p><p>“Ben—”</p><p>“No, Chris. No. Don't say it, I swear, don't you say it—”</p><p>“I think you should ask Leslie Knope for help.”</p><p>Ben groaned loudly, hitting his head with his hands. “I told you not to say it,” he grumbled, because the worst part about it was that Chris was likely right. It was terrible, and Ben’s pride already felt bruised thinking about it, but he might have just had a point. Damn Chris.</p><p>“She has the experience with a campaign,” Chris said. “Hers went fantastic! I mean, there has to be a reason she beat you for President, right? You can ask her for tips on what she did, and how she dealt with the stress. I think she could truly enlighten you. Maybe even become your friend.”</p><p>“Fat chance, she thinks I'm an ass,” Ben snorted, but he honestly felt kind of sad saying it out loud. “God, fine. Fine! I'll try to talk to her tomorrow, but no promises it'll go well at all. I'm gonna hate this.”</p><p>Chris clapped Ben on the shoulder. “Nonsense. You're gonna do great, buddy! And hey, if it comes up… put a word in for me in regards to the lovely Ann Perkins, will you?”</p><p>Ben just sighed.</p><p>…</p><p>Coming to school was even more of a nightmare than Ben could've imagined.</p><p>There wasn't a student at Partridge High that didn't know him now. Sure, the campaign for president made him reasonably popular, but not exactly in the best way, and only for students that actually cared about student government. But Mayor of the city? That was something else entirely. That was bound to get everyone's attention, no matter who they were.</p><p>They yelled his name, he got knocked into in the halls, and it was a serious debate over whether more people thought this was a great idea or an incredibly stupid one. Some looks were pitying, others laughing, still others with something like awe, star struck, or even fear. Fear was the weirdest one.</p><p>It was a miracle Ben made it to lunchtime, and even more of a miracle that he managed to find Leslie Knope while the both of them were alone.</p><p>She was writing furiously in a notebook in one of the history classrooms, and she didn't even look up when he came in. He felt the insane urge to just sit and watch her for a minute while she was at work. How close her face was to her paper, how fast the pen was moving, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear and how she bit down on her bottom lip in concentration…</p><p>Ben shook his head and forced himself back to reality. <em> Snap out of it, Wyatt, she's just a pretty girl. </em>An irritating pretty girl that would likely laugh in his face after his request.</p><p>Still. He promised Chris he would do it. And really, Ben was backed into a corner and all out of options.</p><p>He cleared his throat, and Leslie’s head snapped up. She was smiling, just for a moment, until she focused in and realized it was him, choosing instead to narrow her eyes. “Oh,” she mumbles. “It's you. What do you want, Mayor of Nothing?”</p><p>Ben winced. “Wow, clever nickname, really. Um… would it sound so terrible if I said I came here to ask you something?”</p><p>She peered at him suspiciously. “What, like… a favor? What could I possibly do for you?”</p><p>She was guarding herself, he noticed. She was stiff, in her movements, a wall in her eyes, as if careful not to let her emotions out too forcefully. Ben wondered, briefly, what Leslie Knope was like when no one else was around, when it was just her and she could let herself be vulnerable. Did she even have any vulnerability in her?</p><p>He didn't know, and now he had to do it first. He had to let his guard down and say his piece even if it meant she would laugh at him or hate him more. He prayed to god she wouldn't hate him more, because this was the only shot he had left.</p><p>“I'm running for Mayor and I have no idea what I'm doing and I feel like I have no one to talk to who understands politics and is my age and I'm at a loss and you were great in your campaign and I just really really really need your help,” Ben gasped, saying it all in one long, very quick breath.</p><p>He squeezed his eyes shut, and waited to hear her laughing.</p><p>***</p><p>For once in her life, Leslie had no idea what to say.</p><p>She sat there watching him, trying to figure out if she heard him right.</p><p>“You… want my help?” Leslie said it slowly. Fearing that if she said one wrong thing, Ben would run out of the room.</p><p>“Yes.” Ben said it quickly, but became calmer. His shoulders relaxed and he folded his hands together.</p><p>His hair was a mess. He must have been thinking about this for a while now, trying to bring up the courage to ask her to help <em> run his mayoral campaign</em>. She thought that she might’ve wanted to stand up, look him straight in the eyes, and simply say “no.” But instead, she looked at him and wanted to fix his cute, messy hair, <em> wait, what?</em>, and put her hands on his shoulders and tell him a full detailed plan that she already thought of. She thought that probably won’t work right now, so instead she looked up at him, smiled and said:</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Really?” He tilted his head, as if he thought he didn’t hear <em> her </em>right.</p><p>“Yeah sure, why not?” Leslie smiled again and moved to collect her stuff. “Now come on Mayor of Nothing, we’ve got a lot of work to do.”</p><p>“Right, like hoping that nickname is not gonna stick.”</p><p>“We’ll see about that.”</p><p>…</p><p>They decided to start working at her house. Her mom would still be at work, so she wouldn’t bother Leslie with the condescending questions about why she was helping her former opponent, and they just couldn’t go to his house with his family around for the obvious reasons.</p><p>“Oh my god. If this gets out you will 100% not win.”</p><p>“What do you mean? I just prefer them, is that so bad?”</p><p>“They’re <em> calzones</em>, Wyatt! You really think you can win when you tell people that you like to eat knock off pizzas. How do you even eat those things?” She wasn’t <em> entirely </em>being serious, but she did have to wonder what kind of idiot prefers calzones to pizza. Ben Wyatt that’s who.</p><p>Ben started to laugh and shook his head. “How’d we even start talking about this in the first place?”</p><p>“I have no idea.” Leslie started moving some things around in her backpack when she pulled out a binder. A <em> completely </em> different one than the one she showed Ann a few nights before. This one was entitled <em> How to Win Benji Wyatt’s Mayoral Campaign</em>. “Here,” she said simply, throwing it down beside him on her bed.</p><p>He glanced at it quickly, looking back up at her with a confused look. </p><p>“When the hell did you have time to make this?”</p><p>She moved her hands, as if to completely disregard what he was saying.</p><p>“This is simply a more complex strategy of how I won Student Body President.”</p><p>“Is there an in depth way on how to deal with stress?” Leslie could tell Ben was half saying it as a joke, but she still dropped her shoulders and looked at him sadly. She finally sat down on the other side of her bed with one leg under her and started tying her hair back.</p><p>“No. I still wish I figured that one out.” She said with a sad laugh. Ben moved from where he was laying to sit up and face her fully, legs crossed and his hands in between his legs.</p><p>“Is there anything you did to try and manage it?” Ben asked her gently, as if not to push her too far. They managed to talk normally for a few hours, minus the calzone debate, and she could tell that they both didn’t want to ruin that.</p><p>“Well, I talked to Ann of course, and she’s always the biggest help. My mom’s never been any help. Ever since my dad died she became colder.” Leslie expected him to make a big reaction to her confession about her dad. She knew that Ben knew but people always tend to get defensive when she mentions it. Instead, he still sat there, patiently waiting for her to continue. “Other than that, I really haven’t figured it out.” She shrugged, not knowing what else to say. She wished she could help him, but she wasn’t so great on this subject. “This whole presidency thing isn’t even that great either. Everyone at school doesn’t care anymore.”</p><p>“I’m really sorry.” Leslie somewhat imagined that he would have been glad to see her suffering, but instead he looked at her with pity and understanding.</p><p>Leslie just sat there, trying to think of something else to say to try and help him with what he originally asked. Instead, he began talking. “My parents split a few years ago so it’s been hard trying to get through that. They still bicker constantly and neither of them will move out. My dad’s never been one to talk to about stress or anything and my mom would just over exaggerate it. So I understand not being able to talk to your parents about anything.” Leslie blinked her eyes furiously, trying to keep tears at bay. She was glad she had someone to talk to and that could relate to her problems. Leslie loved Ann, but her parents were lovely people that would do anything for her.</p><p>“Thank you.” Leslie didn’t know what else to say, but she hoped it conveyed how grateful she was for him. Ben nodded silently, his smile starting to break out onto his face. That cute, dopey smile that he’d make when he was <em> genuinely </em>happy. Leslie shook her head, as if trying to get rid of the thoughts. She looked back up to him, her smile seeming to break out too.</p><p>“Oh, hold on.” Ben looked at her and started to move his hand near her face. “Come here.” She moved her face closer when he touched her. “You got an eyelash on your face.” He held his hand out then, “I got it. Make a wish.” He smiled softly, looking her in her eyes. <em> No. This can’t be happening. </em>She slapped his hand down, mood suddenly changing. “Get away from me.”</p><p>“Sorry.” Ben said it quickly, seeming hurt.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” They both apologized a few more times, a few um’s slipping out.</p><p>Leslie continued, “I’m allergic to fingers.” <em> Why the hell did I say that? </em></p><p>They looked at each other for a few more seconds, Ben seemed to be trying to grasp her odd statement. She saw him run his fingers through his hair and it became messier to the touch. She stared at it for a few moments, suddenly wanting to fix it again, like she did earlier. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, the silence becoming unbearable.</p><p>Ben started to move, picking up the binder and his other belongings scattered around Leslie’s room. “I’m just, uh, gonna go take a look at this, at home. See you tomorrow at school, Knope.”</p><p>He walked out of her room before she could say anything else. Leslie heard him walk down the stairs and heard the door open and slam shut. She finally laid down on her back, hands furiously rubbing her face.</p><p>
  <em> What the hell just happened? </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben read Leslie’s binder for him over and over again, until he could recite it from memory. He carried it with him everywhere he went, shoved into his backpack, and he pulled it out every time there was a lull in conversation, or nothing to do, or any time no one was looking at him.</p><p>He was fascinated by every word on every page. Sometimes, at night, he would find himself on his bed pouring over it once again, fingers tracing the letters on the page, imaging what they would sound like in her voice. He can hear her clearly, like she was right next to him, and he smiled in spite of himself.</p><p>And when he went to bed, setting the binder away, and closed his eyes to try and fall asleep, his mind would inevitably start to wander. He would think back to sitting on her bed, and how he touched her, he touched her face, and the way she smacked him away as if completely repulsed.</p><p><em> Get away from me</em>, she had said. And that had made their boundaries become very clear to him. Even though she was helping him with his campaign… they weren't friends. Not really. They were still Ben and Leslie and to the entire world, Ben and Leslie were rivals. Ben and Leslie were not supposed to laugh in her bedroom over calzones and comfort each other and have talks about their parents.</p><p>Ben could play it that way. Fine. He totally could. He didn't like Leslie anyway. She was just great with politics so he was using her for help.</p><p>But still, every night, he reread her binder, and he thought of her.</p><p>After Science one day, after a stressful campaign week and far too few days spent working with Leslie, Ben decided to try his luck one more time. His Lab partner was sticking behind, picking up her books, and was there really any better chance than now? He was in the running to be Mayor, for God's sake, that should be enough.</p><p>“Hey, Cindy,” Ben said, shouldering his backpack and leaning against their desk. “Can we talk?”</p><p>Cindy was, to Ben, incredibly pretty that day. Her dark hair was up and loose bangs framed her face. She was wearing a skirt, and even shoes with a slight heel to them, making her just as tall as him. On second thought, he should probably be standing up straighter. She looked at him curiously. “Oh, Benji,” she sighed. “Don't do this.”</p><p>Ben blinked and took a step back. “Don't do what? What's wrong?”</p><p>She pursed her lips and held her books over her chest. “Don't think that just because you're running for Mayor, we can have this conversation.”</p><p>His face fell, and he felt like an idiot, and seriously, what the hell was he doing anyway? “Well, why not?” he asked. “Mayor is way better than Student Body President.”</p><p>Cindy actually rolled her eyes, and Ben felt his face get hot. “Have you forgotten you're not actually Mayor? You're just in the <em>running</em>. Meanwhile, Leslie Knope actually won her campaign. And don't think nobody's noticed you talking to her in the halls.”</p><p>“What's wrong with that?”</p><p>She scoffed. “What <em>isn't? </em>She was supposed to be your rival, and now you're rolling over for her because… what? Because you want to do better? Because you want to use her strategies to win? Listen, Benji…” Cindy got close to his face, enough so he could feel her breath on his skin, and for a moment, Ben’s heart stopped. “Mayor is an adult job. It's not Student Body President. So if you go into it using the same strategies as Leslie Knope… you're not going to get very far.” She touched his cheek, then, actually touched him, patting it gently. “Just keep that in mind.”</p><p>And then she was gone, leaving Ben alone and suddenly very, very upset.</p><p>He felt like kicking things, or punching a wall, or more realistically, hiding out somewhere and crying, if only because he hadn't given himself a chance yet to cry over this mess and maybe he really, really needed it. Maybe he was mad at Cindy, or at Leslie, or at all of Partridge, or especially himself, because all he ever knew how to do was turn good things into nothing.</p><p>Good lord. Maybe Leslie was right; he really was the Mayor of nothing.</p><p>He skipped his last class, unable to face it, especially when he knew Cindy was going to be there too. He walked around the school aimlessly, his fists clenched tightly around his backpack straps, and he didn't stop until he was in the middle of the school field, where he plopped himself unceremoniously into the grass and sat there, cross legged, just feeling stupidly sorry for himself.</p><p>And yeah, maybe he did start to cry a little, because what if Cindy was right? What if he was going about this completely the wrong way, and Leslie’s advice was practically useless? If he memorized all her words for nothing? If he was becoming friends with her for nothing?</p><p>What the hell was he even doing becoming sort-of friends with Leslie Knope anyway? And why, <em> why god, why </em>was it that when he shut his eyes, the sunlight beating down on him, casting warm shadows on his eyelids, he started to see blonde hair? Soft blonde hair, small hands, smooth skin against his fingers, and right now he kind of really, really hated Leslie Knope for making him think this, because this was supposed to be against all the natural rules of high school.</p><p>So, of course, when he started to hear footsteps, he got angry. He squinted his eyes and saw her in the sunlight, making her hair look brighter, treading through the grass in his direction. Why would she even come for him? Why the hell would she check up on him? They're not friends, and she shouldn't care, and Ben certainly didn't care. Nope, nope, he did not like Leslie Knope, not at all, and he was very angry with her.</p><p>So why was it, when she got closer, all he wanted to do was bury his head into her shoulder and cry?</p><p>He quickly wiped his tears away and tried to look normal. <em> Stay strong, Ben</em>, he thought to himself. <em> Be brave. </em></p><p>***</p><p>Leslie had no idea what she was doing.</p><p>Instead she walked up to Ben, trying to be as calm as possible.</p><p>“Hey, Wyatt.” She kept a soft smile on her face, as much as he tried to hide it, she could tell he had just been crying.</p><p>“Knope.” He deadpanned. It took her off guard, but she recovered quickly.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” She already knew, but she didn’t think coming right out with it would help, considering how he looked.</p><p>“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s ever wrong.” He looked up at her and stood up quickly. His tone was angry but his eyes betrayed him. She could see right through him.</p><p>Fine. If he wants to play it this way then, “I heard you and Cindy.”</p><p>He looked at her but didn’t make any moves, except the rough tear that made its way down his cheek which he pushed off harshly. When he didn’t say anything she continued, “look, I understand this is tough—” Ben cut her off.</p><p>“No, Leslie, you don’t understand! I don’t know why you think you have to help me! I ran for Student Body President and <em>lost </em>to <em>you</em>. Your plans won’t help me win a <em> Mayoral Campaign </em>…”</p><p>She shook her head in disbelief. “Don’t use Cindy’s words back at me.”</p><p>“Maybe I don’t need your help, Knope. Maybe that’s all there is to it.”</p><p>She looked at him for a long time and squared her shoulders. She didn’t know how Cindy could have this much impact on him, because the look on his face completely contradicted the words that were coming out of his mouth. </p><p>
  <em> Leslie had no idea what she was doing. </em>
</p><p>Without thinking, she rushed to him and wrapped herself around him tightly, as if to try and get every bad thought out of his head, about the campaign, about Cindy’s words, <em> everything</em>. He hugged her back just as tightly, breaking down into sobs.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” These were the only coherent words Ben was saying, but Leslie understood.</p><p>Leslie didn’t let go until he did. She tried to put all of her strength into him at that moment. She smiled softly at him, which he returned. His hands still hung around her hips and she pushed the line of tears off his face. For a second, she thought he glanced to her lips. They moved off of each other quickly, both fixing their hair and trying to compose themselves. </p><p>Leslie recovered first, looking to Ben again. “You’re up in the polls.”</p><p>Ben’s face brightened substantially. “Really?”</p><p>Her smile grew and so did his. She picked up her backpack beginning to walk in the direction to her car, “Yeah.” She said it simply, as if it was no big deal, but in actuality she was ecstatic. With all of her responsibilities, this was her favorite one.</p><p>…</p><p>They went to JJ’s. Their meals were out to them not even 10 minutes after they walked in.</p><p>Leslie was already digging in, but started talking around the waffles she was currently putting in her mouth. “Anyone who doesn’t like breakfast food are idiots.”</p><p>“That should’ve been your campaign slogan.” Ben said it with that dorky smile and she couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head.</p><p>They didn’t talk about the campaign for the rest of the night. Leslie knew better. She wouldn’t bring it up, until tomorrow probably, since she had already been brainstorming ideas of how to get his numbers further up for the polls.</p><p>Instead, they just enjoyed the evening. As friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben and Leslie had become genuine, actual friends, but in Ben’s eyes, something had shifted into much scarier territory.</p><p>It started the day she came to him on the field. She hugged him, and Ben cracked, and he held onto her like she was his lifeline, and he couldn't remember the last time someone had just let him cry into their shoulders. And she hasn't judged him for it, not one bit. She had no reason to do it, no personal motivations. She just wanted to make him feel better.</p><p>Ben had forgotten people could be so kind.</p><p>And for the first time, when Ben pulled back and looked at her that day, he saw her clearly in the sunlight, and something shifted.</p><p>And it kept happening. As his campaign picked up, he kept doing well in the polls, far more than he ever thought he would. Weeks turned to months and it got to a point where Leslie was one of the only people that could really make him smile. </p><p>There was one Saturday when Ben was sitting in Leslie’s living room, exhausted from the press, trying to keep up with his homework that he was behind on, when Leslie pulled the papers from his hands and stood in front of him, hands on her hips.</p><p>“Am I in trouble?” Ben asked her, blinking. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes.</p><p>“Maybe,” she giggled. “Maybe you're in trouble for stressing out too much.”</p><p>He was taken back— <em> Leslie Knope</em>, queen of stress, was telling him he was stressing out too much? Good lord, how bad did he have it? “I thought I had to catch up by tonight. Your words, not mine.”</p><p>Leslie grabbed Ben’s hand and pulled him up off the couch, sending his books to the floor. His heart fluttered a little at the feel of her hand in his. “And I've just decided I don't care, because you look way too stressed. So <em> you, </em>Wyatt, are gonna dance with me.”</p><p>And then she was putting on <em> Losing My Religion</em>, wrapping her arms around him, and they were swinging and tripping and laughing in her living room, and Ben honestly didn't think he knew any better person in the world than Leslie Knope.</p><p>But that wasn't the moment he <em> knew. </em></p><p>It was actually a much simpler moment, something likely not as significant as a shared dance in the evening, but to Ben, it was everything.</p><p>Ben had skipped lunch by himself, unable to handle, that day, the people that would talk behind his back. He was always the talk of the school lately. And for good reason, but that didn't mean he had to like it. They started to look him up and down and their whispers got louder as he became more of a town celebrity— it's funny how the more popular you get, the more people think you can't hear them.</p><p>And he was stressed, and overstimulated, and he was so damn hungry, but he just couldn't cope. So he sat in the field and he stretched his fingers over Leslie’s binder again and he whispered her words under his breath as if she was right there besides him. </p><p>And then, suddenly, she was. With a small box in her hands.</p><p>“I noticed you skipped lunch,” she said to him with a shy smile. “So I brought you something.”</p><p>“That's not from the cafeteria,” he observed. “Where… where did you go?”</p><p>Leslie bit her bottom lip and sat in the grass next to him, almost knee to knee. “There's a cute little place just down the street. I don't usually drive out at lunch, so consider yourself lucky.” She handed him the box, and waited for him to open it.</p><p>She had bought him a calzone.</p><p>Leslie, who hated calzones and once hated him, who was down on money and on gas and owed him nothing, not only noticed that he skipped lunch, but also took the time to buy him his favorite food. Just the fact that she remembered it was his favorite…</p><p>And then he looked into her eyes, and he noticed how blue they were, how bright, and Ben knew he was done for.</p><p>Because suddenly he really wanted to kiss her, and understand how her lips felt against his. He really wanted to grab her face and brush her hair back from her eyes, and he found himself wondering if she would gasp when he kissed her, how hard she would hold on to him, if she would take control or if she would melt into him.</p><p>God, he suddenly really wanted to find out.</p><p>But he didn't kiss her.</p><p>Instead, he smiled at her, and took a bite of his calzone. It was perfect, she was kind of perfect. “Thank you,” he said to her, and she grinned with pride. “That… that means a lot.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, you've gotta eat up, or else you're gonna be giving speeches on an empty stomach. Never good for anyone, Mr. Mayor.”</p><p>Ben rolled his eyes, his mouth filled with calzone. “Calling me Mr. Mayor is a little premature, don't you think?”</p><p>She tossed a napkin right in his face. “Nope,” she said simply. “Because I believe in you.”</p><p>Yeah, Ben definitely wanted to kiss her.</p><p>And that was the most terrifying part of this all. Because as time went on and Ben started to like Leslie more and more, he realized how utterly and completely screwed he was. This was not a good crush, this was not a crush he wanted to have. Because there was no way she would ever feel the same way. She was goddamn Leslie Knope, Student Body President, straight A student, brilliant and bright and beautiful, and he was only Ben Wyatt, trying desperately to keep his life together during a Mayoral campaign he started to impress a girl that probably didn't deserve it.</p><p>And Ben didn't deserve Leslie. So he wouldn't say anything. He would be okay with just being friends.</p><p>The last thing Ben wanted to do was drag Leslie into the mess that was his life. She was already deep enough.</p><p>“Ben?” she was waving her hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his daydream. “Are you okay?”</p><p>He blinked, squinting at the way the sun shined off her hair, framing her gently, making her brighter. “Yeah, Knope,” he smiled, resolving to never tell her the truth. “I'm alright.”</p><p>***</p><p>A few more weeks had passed and it was the night before the election.</p><p>Ann and Chris had gotten together to throw a party for Ben, and also for Leslie. Leslie was surprised that Ann and Chris could keep it a secret from <em> her </em>for so long.</p><p>Leslie had been frantic all evening trying to get some last minute things done when Ann finally pulled her aside.</p><p>Ann placed her hands on Leslie’s shoulders and told her to take a deep breath. Leslie breathed in harshly, not realizing she was supposed to do it slower until she saw Ann doing it. She copied Ann’s breathing and could feel her heart rate drop. She had been on such a high for months trying to help Ben with the campaign, but the closer it got to election she realized she enjoyed helping him.</p><p>“Ann, you’re such a good friend. You’re a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox. Thank you so much for this party.” Ann looked at Leslie skeptically, which normally happened after Leslie used a bizarre metaphor to describe her, but she quickly went neutral again, almost soft.</p><p>“I really hope you enjoy it. You and Ben both seem to be on edge so Chris and I decided to throw it.” Ann began smiling which Leslie returned easily. Leslie tilted her head, eyes narrowing, things finally coming into view.</p><p>“You and Chris, hm?”</p><p>Ann shook her head. “We’re not talking about this right now.”</p><p>Leslie was going to try and get more information from her when Chris came up to them. He pointed both fingers at Ann first. “Ann Perkins!” She smiled and Chris kissed her on the cheek. Leslie’s eyes widened and she turned to Ann again, as if to say, <em> you couldn’t hide this from me for long</em>. Chris finally turned to Leslie, both fingers pointing to her, “Leslie Knope! Have you seen Ben?” Leslie glanced around the room quickly, not being able to see much, but realizing she hadn’t seen him yet. “No, I haven’t. I’ll go look for him though. You guys enjoy the party.” Leslie looked back at Ann and winked before disappearing into the crowd.</p><p>The party was being held at Chris’ house since his parents were out of town. Leslie knew Ben came here a lot and knew the one place he would escape to when Chris’ positivity became way too much. The roof.</p><p>Leslie climbed up onto it and saw Ben. He was facing away from her and so she walked up and sat beside him. She saw him flinch slightly, only to let out a deep breath. She wasn’t going to talk unless he did. The silence was comfortable and they seemed to be able to communicate without words. Leslie laid on her back and Ben followed suit. The sky was clear and the stars were visible. Without thinking, she began pointing up and calling out the patterns. “That one there is the big dipper.” Leslie started pointing to two stars on the right of it. “Those two point…”</p><p>“to the north star.” They finished simultaneously. Leslie looked at Ben to find him already looking at her, his expression soft. She glanced to his lips quickly and then back to his eyes. She searched his eyes for a long moment, wondering if she was the only one. She realized that everything changed on the field a few months back and they grew closer than ever. But she was afraid, she was so afraid. He was probably still in love with Cindy and didn’t look at her the same way. She was just a pawn in his long story that would be told to his and Cindy’s kids one day. But she didn’t tell anyone this, she rarely thought about it. Instead, she just continued looking at him. He turned his head back to the sky and closed his eyes.</p><p>“What if I don’t win?” He said it so quietly, Leslie was almost afraid that she heard him wrong. Then she saw him shaking. It wasn’t cold outside and she realized she had heard him exactly right. She shook her head, it was slow at first, but it grew quicker. She closed her eyes, a slight exhale coming out.</p><p>“Not possible.”</p><p>Ben looked at her, eyes seeming to well with tears. “What if I don’t win?” He repeated himself and Leslie looked at him, searching his face, trying to make him understand.</p><p>“You will.” Leslie’s breath hitched, she tried to find the words, find anything, to help him. “You’ve worked so hard on this. All of the people down stairs are with you, hell, all of the school is with you. They all believe in you with what you’ve promised them. <em> I </em> believe in you. You will win, Ben. You will.” She repeated herself this time, almost on the verge of becoming frantic. <em> I believe in you</em>. Every word she said was true, especially these ones, because she did. </p><p>He seemed to understand because his eyes cleared up and there was a glance of a smile on his face.</p><p>“We should get back to the party.” She moved to get up but his hand held hers and tried to pull her back down. She looked down and she felt like her hand was on fire. “Can we stay here for a bit?” This time his eyes searched her face, pleading with her to stay. She smiled softly and nodded her head. Leslie laid back down and neither one of them moved their hands. If anyone had come up they would see two ex-rivals holding hands and looking at the stars.</p><p>…</p><p>That night, Leslie cried, because she finally realized after years of hating him, she loved Ben Wyatt.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben’s heart was pounding, and he kind of wished he could run away from everything.</p>
<p>Well, that wasn't strictly true. There was one person he wanted to see. One person he would be okay with being around at a moment like this.</p>
<p>But instead, he was stuck at home with his family, and tensions were very high. It was a big moment, waiting for the call, watching all the screens, taking deep breaths. No one had spoken. His older brother Henry was in the kitchen stress eating, pretending like he didn't care. His younger sister Steph was rocking back and forth of the couch, and his parents? Well… they went back and forth between arguing and pretending the other didn't exist.</p>
<p>Really, it felt like Ben didn't exist.</p>
<p>“You think you know what's gonna happen?” Henry asked him as Ben wandered into the kitchen for some water. He shook his head.</p>
<p>“No idea,” he admitted. “I think it'll be terrifying either way.”</p>
<p>Henry winced. “Either Mayor or the kid that failed to be Mayor. You're right, both options suck.”</p>
<p>Ben took a deep breath and froze with his hand on the refrigerator handle. At home, his panic was just increasing. His family was not the best group to be around during incredibly emotional moments, and could he really face their reactions when the results finally came in? No, Ben knew exactly where he wanted to be.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he whispered to Henry. “Think if I sneak out, you could cover for me?”</p>
<p>Henry smirked. “I thought you'd never ask.”</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>He was on Leslie’s doorstep only fifteen minutes later.</p>
<p>Thank god she was the one to open the door, and she only looked happy to see him, pulling him inside. “Ben!” she exclaimed. “Oh my god, I was right about to call you and tell you to come over, my mom is working and I know how your parents are, and I know this is a lot for you—”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he cut her off, realizing faintly that she still had a hold on his hand. “It's been… kind of a lot, and I guess I really needed to see you.”</p>
<p>They sat in her living room on the floor, their backs resting against the couch. She was close to him, shoulder to shoulder, and he was very painfully aware of her touch. She must have realized how quiet he was, how tense he was, because she squeezed his hand in hers.</p>
<p>“You're not okay, are you?” she asked him, and it's the way that she asked, maybe, as if she already knew the answer, that prompted Ben to crack a tiny smile.</p>
<p>He shook his head. “You're very perceptive. Anyone ever told you that?”</p>
<p>“Everyone,” she laughed. “But really, Ben, you can talk to me. And… and I'll be right here for when the results come in. I can even look for you if you can't bear it.”</p>
<p>“That— yeah, that would be great.”</p>
<p>“So just… just talk to me. About anything. It doesn't even have to be about this.”</p>
<p>Ben took a deep breath and looked down at his lap. Somehow, the world was spinning but standing still all at the same time. “Why are you so nice to me?” he asked Leslie, and he didn't even know where the words came from. “I mean, I… I was such an ass to you when I lost Student Body President. I've been an ass to you for years. You shouldn't have forgiven me.”</p>
<p>She took a long time to answer, watching the side of his face when he wouldn't look up. “I wasn't exactly the nicest either, Ben,” she whispered. “We both made mistakes. And it took me a long time to finally see the real you, and… as it turns out, the real you is kinda great.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Ben felt like crying. God, why did he always end up crying in front of her? Why did she have this kind of effect on him? “What if you don't know the real me? What if… what if I actually am just an asshole who did this all for a girl and I don't deserve… winning, or friendship, or love?”</p>
<p>Leslie was shaking her head quickly, over and over again, and she grabbed Ben’s face to make him look at her. He shuddered under her touch, how soft she felt, how gentle she somehow was even when she was being firm. “That's <em> not </em>true. I do know you. I really…” her breath caught, as if suddenly she was unsure, but she pushed through it, “I really, really like to think I know you. And… and you do deserve to win. And you will win, because you're smart and kind and incredible and you care about what you're doing, and… and I know Cindy will see that, too.”</p>
<p>Oh. That's right. This was about Cindy.</p>
<p>But somewhere in the months of campaigning, it had become less about Cindy and far more about Leslie. To make Leslie proud, to make her happy, to show her what he was capable of. But she didn't know that. She still thought he was all in for Cindy.</p>
<p>But Ben couldn't tell her the truth. He just couldn't. If she was bringing up Cindy to him now, then… she definitely didn't feel the same way.</p>
<p>Leslie clapped his arm lightly and went to stand up. “I'm gonna get you a snack and check the news, okay? You stay right here.”</p>
<p>He nodded, and watched as she left, and suddenly his head was clouded with more than just the election results. He imagined months of being around Leslie— snapping at her in the field, talking to her in the car, dancing with her in the living room, eating the calzone she bought him, sitting up on the roof with her, holding hands, watching the stars. The stars were all he saw now, squeezing his eyes shut, as if trying to bring himself back to that moment where he felt safe.</p>
<p>“<em>Oh my god, Ben! </em>”</p>
<p>Leslie screamed and ran into the living room, and a shot of electrifying panic coursed through his body. This was it, this was the moment the results came in, this was the moment he found out he lost and it was all for nothing and Leslie was going to be so disappointed in him, everyone would laugh at him—</p>
<p>“Ben,” Leslie gasped. “<em>You won</em>.”</p>
<p>Did he hear that right? That had to be wrong. She was messing with him, or she heard wrong, or he was dreaming, or— something. Ben stood up and started walking towards Leslie.</p>
<p>“You won! Ben! <em> The results came in early! </em>You won by a landslide!” Leslie was squealing, and absolutely ecstatic, practically jumping up and down on her heels, and it was so infectious that once Ben felt like he could properly move, he was rushing forwards to hug her. His arms were out and his feet were carrying him but instead of sliding around her shoulders, suddenly his hands were cupping her face and his lips were pressing against hers.</p>
<p>Leslie gasped at the kiss, so unexpected, and Ben’s mind went blank. He was kissing her, and she was frozen, and— oh my god, he didn't mean to do that. He didn't mean to kiss her, but he was just so damn happy, and she was so excited, and his body acted quicker than his mind could, and then suddenly he was pulling apart from her so violently that he nearly toppled over.</p>
<p>He was gasping with breath, and Leslie was still frozen in place. This wasn't supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to do this. And he couldn't bear the thought of being rejected by her.</p>
<p>“Oh god,” Ben mumbled, and he held a hand out. “I'm so sorry, I— Leslie, that meant nothing. I… it meant nothing.”</p>
<p>Her voice was soft. “It did?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he insisted, almost desperately. “I was just… you know, spur of the moment. I was so excited, and… and you were so happy, and I didn't mean to, and—”</p>
<p>“I hear you,” Leslie whispered, and she wouldn't look at him. <em> She wouldn't even look at him</em>. “You're right. It meant nothing.”</p>
<p>It was all the confirmation he needed, that he was rejected and he could never ever show his face around her house again. And maybe he won his Mayoral campaign, but he had a feeling he just lost something so much more important.</p>
<p>He ran out of Leslie's house and drove away before either of them could say anything else.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Leslie hadn’t left where she was standing.</p>
<p>She hadn’t even moved.</p>
<p>Finally, she touched her lips. She could still feel it, the ghost of a kiss she had been longing for, for months.</p>
<p>
  <em> And it meant nothing to him. </em>
</p>
<p>She couldn’t help herself. Leslie succumbed to sobs, each one racking her small frame violently. She didn’t know how long she was there. It felt like hours, but she couldn’t stop crying.</p>
<p>This was something she had wanted more than anything. More than Student Body President, hell, even more than Ben winning Mayor. Because sometimes, <em> sometimes</em>, she would let her thoughts wander. She would let herself believe that Ben liked her back. And if he didn’t win, she thought about kissing him anyway, because he worked so hard and did everything he could. <em> And she loved him. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> But that’s not what happened. </em>
</p>
<p>She hadn’t cried like this in years. Not since her father died. That’s when she realized, <em> she was crying for the loss</em>. For the loss of the present and of the future. </p>
<p><em> The loss of what could have been</em>.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Monday came around. Leslie built her walls up. She was always so open, and she still would be, to an extent.</p>
<p>She walked down the halls hearing constant chatter, always about the same thing.</p>
<p>
  <em> Ben. </em>
</p>
<p>It hurt like hell.</p>
<p>She couldn’t get away from it. Everywhere she walked it was:</p>
<p>“Wyatt actually won!”</p>
<p>“Ben is Mayor!”</p>
<p>“Cindy is so gonna get with him now.”</p>
<p>
  <em> Shit. </em>
</p>
<p>She had tried so hard not to think of Cindy anymore. She had mentioned it to Ben because he wasn’t thinking straight. Of course he deserved winning, and friendship, and <em>love</em>. Even if she thought Cindy was a terrible person, Ben still deserved what he wanted. He deserved the love that he wanted. </p>
<p>Again, she tried to push it out of her mind as she walked down the halls. Tried to mute everyone's conversations around her. She tightened her hold around her notebooks, trying to do something, anything, to feel better. She saw Ann to her right with Chris on her side. Leslie smiled and waved, not in the mood to talk to Ann at the moment. <em> Damn, not even in the mood to talk to her beautiful best friend?  </em></p>
<p>Leslie turned a corner, hoping that it’d be empty and she didn’t have to keep up with such a false exterior anymore. It was anything but.</p>
<p>To the left of her she saw Ben and Cindy. They were making out. <em>They were seriously making out. </em>All she could do was stare at first. Which was weird, <em>so weird</em>. But all she could notice was that Ben was stiff, and honest to God, didn’t look the slightest bit happy. Next thing you know, her notebooks were flying out of her hands. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.</p>
<p>Ben and Cindy both jumped, Cindy more dramatic than ever. Leslie was already on the ground picking up her things muttering a string of curses when she heard Cindy start talking.</p>
<p>“Think you could be more of a klutz, Knope?”</p>
<p>Leslie looked up ever so slightly to see Cindy still holding on to Ben like her life depended on it. She chanced a glance at Ben to see something she didn’t expect. He was looking at Cindy angrily. He didn’t make a big scene of it, which she was grateful for, but she could hear him talking to Cindy, voice just barely above a whisper.</p>
<p>“Don’t talk to her like that.” </p>
<p>Leslie smiled slightly, still crouched on the ground collecting her stuff.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” Leslie could hear her roll her eyes. Ben walked up and crouched beside her, picking up the rest of her papers, whispering to her ever so slightly, “I’m so sorry.”</p>
<p>She looked at him for a while, reading the emotions in his eyes. All she could do was smile and whisper back. “Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Ann had come over again that night, finally breaking away from Chris for once. Leslie had so much on her mind and Ann was always a good sounding board.</p>
<p>“I was walking down the hallway and I just saw the two of them going at it!”</p>
<p>“Oh no!” It was all Ann said, but honestly Leslie wasn’t looking for much of a reaction.</p>
<p>“And what was so weird, Ben didn’t even seem to be enjoying it! This is the love of his life we’re talking about!” Leslie was wide-eyed and moving her hands around feverishly.</p>
<p>Ann had a blank expression on her face. She stared at Leslie for much longer than she would find comfortable.</p>
<p>“What?” Ann still hadn’t said anything, but she seemed to have something on the tip of her tongue.</p>
<p>“Maybe Cindy isn’t the love of his life.” Ann said it simply. So simply that it hurt.</p>
<p>Leslie shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. “You’re crazy.”</p>
<p>“I’m just saying!” Ann raised her eyebrows and shrugged, before going neutral again. “It just seems to me that he’s actually not into Cindy that much.”</p>
<p>Leslie had begun pacing the room, not looking to Ann until she had remembered something else. She looked at her wide-eyed again, jaw-dropping open. Ann backed away slightly, confusion hitting her face. This time it was Ann’s turn to ask. “What?”</p>
<p>Leslie whispered it as if she was afraid to say it. “He stood up for me today. <em> To her. </em>” Ann bounced up and down on Leslie’s bed, smiling wide. “See!” She looked at Ann again, realizing she had something else to say but could tell she wouldn’t. Leslie didn’t push her this time, not really wanting to hear what she had to say. She was already excited as it was. Leslie also realized something else, something she couldn’t even think to tell Ann. His apology seemed to mean so much more than for what Cindy had said, and for some reason she couldn’t figure it out. But one thing was for sure.</p>
<p>
  <em> Ben Wyatt didn’t love Cindy Eckert. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dating Cindy Eckert didn’t feel as good as Ben thought it would. </p><p>He pretended he didn’t know the reason why. He pretended it was because it was the beginning of a relationship, that this was the awkward stage, and before long they would be fine. Cindy wanted him now. Cindy was all over him, really. She was more than content to hold hands everywhere they went and make out in front of his locker every morning, even if Ben wasn’t particularly huge on public displays of affection like this.</p><p>Cindy was already calling herself his girlfriend. Not by his name of course, never. She would tell anyone who would listen that she was the <em> Mayor’s </em> girlfriend, and never <em> Ben’s </em>girlfriend.</p><p>And Ben pretended he was okay with this. He also pretended like he was okay with hardly talking to Leslie anymore. They were never supposed to be friends, not really, so what they shared… it was never meant to last. And Ben told himself he was okay with that.</p><p>It also meant that neither of them had talked about the kiss again.</p><p>But really, what was there to talk about? Ben saved his own ass by saying kissing her was a mistake, and Leslie had <em> agreed. </em>She barely kissed back and she just stood there, frozen, and agreed that the kiss meant nothing, they could never be more than friends. That told Ben everything he needed to know, enough to bring him to Cindy once more.</p><p>So why did Leslie look so upset when she saw him and Cindy making out?</p><p>He decided he was going to test something.</p><p>From then on, whenever Ben saw Leslie at lunch or in the hallways, he would start to grab at Cindy. Whether reaching for her hand, kissing her cheek, or fully making out with her wherever they stood, he made a point to do it in front of Leslie. And every time he kept his eyes a little open, to test her reactions, to see if they remained the same.</p><p>They did, every time. Every time, she would freeze. Her eyes would go wide, once he even noticed her hands shake. And every time, without fail, Leslie would leave. She would speed away and out of sight, no matter what she was doing, as if the sight of Ben made her sick. Was she really so upset? Was she mad because he kissed her when they found out the election results?</p><p>Ben missed Leslie. He missed his best friend. And even though he pretended he didn’t know it, he still really wanted to kiss her. There was still that ache in his chest when he thought of her, wanting to wrap his arms around her and kiss her bright hair and tell her that he—</p><p>He liked Cindy. Right? Cindy was his girlfriend. Leslie was just a casual friend that helped with his campaign. They had no ties to each other anymore, there was no obligation to be around the other, even if they both really wanted to be.</p><p>“Benji, babe?” </p><p>Ben snapped out of his reverie to Cindy, her arms wrapped around his neck, his planted firmly on her waist. He hardly remembered getting here. They were in front of his locker again at lunchtime, and she was pouting up at him. “Um…” Ben cleared his throat. “What’s… up?”</p><p>Cindy huffed. “Were you even listening to me?”</p><p>“Uh… sorry, I’m sorry. I was thinking about… homework.” Ben lied easily, a little too easily, but he had a hard time feeling guilty about it.</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “I was <em> trying </em>to tell you about how great I am at ice-skating. And how it’s a total tragedy this stupid town doesn’t have a place pretty enough for it.”</p><p>Ben blinked. “We live in Minnesota. There’s almost too many places.”</p><p>“But not <em> pretty enough, </em>Benji! It’s like you don’t even care what I’m saying.”</p><p>Okay, okay, she was getting mad. Ben had to find a way to fix this. He searching his brain and thought about stupid <em> ice-skating </em>(roller skating was way better, in his opinion), and then an idea popped into his head. Cindy was happy as long as things were being done for her, right? If she was given gifts? Well, Ben was Mayor, so he was totally capable of giving her some of the best gifts there was. </p><p>“You know what?” Ben mused. “I can probably fix that for you. Winter sports, huh?”</p><p>Cindy started to smile, doing that thing she did where she bit her bottom lip and tried to charm Ben into doing what she wanted, and it was interesting, maybe, that it was at that moment Ben saw Leslie Knope out of the corner of his eye. And he did what he always did.</p><p>He pressed his lips to Cindy’s, and she responded enthusiastically, pushing him up against his locker. And Leslie? Well, for once she didn’t run away. For once, she stood there and she watched them, she fully watched them, her jaw set and her eyes bright. So, Ben stopped kissing Cindy. </p><p>She frowned and tried to pull him back by his collar, but Ben shook his head. “I’ll be right back,” he told her. “And then we can talk more about winter sports.”</p><p>Leslie noticed he was coming right in her direction, and maybe that was when the panic started to set in, because her eyes got wider and she took a step back. “Leslie—” </p><p>“No,” she hissed. “What the hell kind of game are you playing at, Wyatt?” And she shoved past him, trying to make her usual exit, trying to disappear again, off down the hallway in the direction of the field.</p><p>So, of course, Ben chased after her.</p><p>***</p><p>Leslie ran as far as her legs could take her. She could hear him calling after her still, his words becoming slowed and breathless after trying to follow her for so long. Her eyes welled up with tears and the whole time she ran she couldn’t stop crying. </p><p>She could tell what he was doing. He’d been teasing her for weeks with Cindy. Anytime she was around he was all over her, but as she’s told Ann, she could read him so well. Leslie noticed the way his whole body tensed when Cindy pulled him in for a kiss or how he looked like he was going to cry when Cindy called herself the “<em>M</em><em>ayor’s </em>girlfriend.” He always tried to shrug it off as if it didn’t bother him, but she knew better.</p><p>Leslie also noticed that he started trying to get a rouse out of her. <em> As if she’d break in front of the whole school. </em> When she thought it went on for too long, she stopped giving him a reaction, as much as it hurt her. Seeing Ben with a tall brunette hurt her to her very core, but she wasn’t going to give Ben that satisfaction anymore. </p><p>So when she ran, she didn’t think he’d follow. Thought he would finally give up.</p><p>They ended up on the field, both breathing heavily. It certainly didn’t help that Leslie was trying to stop crying as well. </p><p>She wouldn’t look at him even when he repeated her name, softer than before, but still breathless. He said it again, even softer, voice sounding like it was going to break. “Leslie. Leslie, please look at me.” She turned around roughly, almost knocking the wind out of her. She probably looked like a mess, eyes red and her hair a tangled mess. Leslie tried to stop crying, tried to keep some semblance to her normally kind exterior, but she couldn’t. Not anymore.</p><p>The tears came again, but this time they were angry and hot on her face. “I hate this. I hate you. <em> That’s not true.</em>” She shook her head after seeing his face drop at her statement. “No. You know what I hate? I hate that you have <em> this much power over me.</em>” Leslie gestured wildly between the two of them, before dropping her hands back to her sides. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Wyatt. I’ve seen how you look at her! Stop having this ulterior motive when I walk up to the two of you.” She didn’t mention Cindy’s name, didn’t have to. He got the picture.</p><p>Ben just stared at her and she almost turned to run away again before he spoke up. “I don’t know what you think I’m trying to do—”</p><p>Leslie chuckled harshly, not really believing what she was hearing. “You’re not serious right? Anytime I’m around you, you start making out with Cindy or feeling her up, but you’re not even really looking at her! You’re always doing it to gauge my reaction and I’m sick of it!” Her voice had raised in the middle of her rant, becoming angrier by the minute. </p><p>He shook his head, laughing back at her like she had done before, and he matched her tone, “I honestly don’t understand why you care so much.”</p><p>“Because <em> I love you,</em> dammit!” Leslie said it before her brain could catch up. She saw Ben suddenly become speechless, anything he was going to say suddenly being knocked out of him along with his breath. He honestly looked like he was going to pass out. She <em> felt like </em> she was going to pass out. Then, like it was some kind of stupid movie, it started to rain.</p><p>He tried to say something, but all that came out was stutters. She finally held her hand up, “don’t.” Her voice was firm, already building her walls back up. She could tell that he could see them being built with the emotion in his eyes, but he didn’t do anything to stop it. Instead, he tried to form a coherent sentence against her pleas. </p><p>“I… I can’t. I <em> can’t</em>.” He repeated himself, seeming as if trying to make <em> himself </em>understand. Leslie just shook her head, tears coming faster than they were before. “There’s… There’s Cindy… And… And… I’m <em>Mayor</em>… for God’s sake!” He ran his hand through his hair and it looked like he was shaking, and not from the cold rain. He wiped his face, Leslie suddenly noticing that he was crying too. She realized that he wasn’t talking to her, no, he was talking to himself. He finally looked at her, so much pain and emotion being shown through his eyes. “Good lord, this is a mess.” </p><p>Leslie shook her head once again, tears finally dulling, but the anger and sadness still seemed to sink in. She didn’t know what to say, what to do even. <em> Leslie Knope didn’t know what to do. </em> He wouldn’t say anything back, wouldn’t respond to her vulnerability. Instead she ran again, but this time, he didn’t follow her. She ran to her car, the rain already drenching her, but she didn’t care. She locked herself in and cried again. God, she hadn’t cried this much until she got close to Ben. Her sobs got drowned out by the rain and all she could think about was Ben’s words.</p><p>
  <em> “I can’t.” </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leslie Knope loved Ben Wyatt.</p><p>
  <em> She loved him. </em>
</p><p>She actually looked Ben in the eye and said she loved him, said those three words to him, and the worst part? Ben didn't believe her.</p><p>Because how could she love him? How could someone as bright as her ever fall for someone like him? Ben might have been Mayor now, but that didn't change who he really was. That didn't change the fact that he was cynical and quiet and cold and nothing like Leslie Knope, nothing.</p><p>
  <em> Ben didn't fucking deserve Leslie Knope. </em>
</p><p>So, he didn't believe her. She was lying, or she was fooling herself, tricking herself into thinking that she wanted Ben when her real soulmate was just around the corner. Because Ben was terrible, and maybe he deserved someone equally as awful— like Cindy Eckert.</p><p>Cindy Eckert, who was on his very last nerve. Who was never really satisfied, no matter what he did. Who pouted at him and made demands and treated him like a trophy to cart around school.</p><p>But Ben let her.</p><p>Because the only way he could force himself to move on from Leslie Knope was to pretend like she didn't exist anymore. The only way he could try to feel better is by pretending he was happy and on top of the world, and hope someday the lie would become reality. It's all he could do, really. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't leave Cindy Eckert. </p><p>He was Mayor of Partridge, yes, but Cindy still had all the power to destroy his reputation. Only this time, on a much larger scale. And the last thing he needed was headlines in the paper detailing how he broke poor Cindy Eckert’s heart, Partridge’s sweetheart.</p><p>So, he walked into school with his head held high and his girlfriend on his arm. His election had, of course, made him not only the talk of the town, but the most popular person at Partridge High. Kids he barely knew high-fived him in the halls, shouted their praise, yelled his name. Everyone smiled at him, everyone believed in him. </p><p>“Feels good, doesn't it?” Cindy mused, her nails digging into his bicep. “You're finally getting back at Leslie Knope.”</p><p>This made Ben pause. Cindy hardly brought up Leslie to him before, but she had been more recently. As if she almost <em>knew </em>there was something between them, and now she was making it her personal mission to make Ben and Leslie proper rivals again. And everytime, Ben hated the way Cindy talked about her. </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Well, remember all that praise she got when she beat you to the Presidency?” she grinned. “Now she's a nobody. You stole her fame out from right under her.”</p><p>
  <em> Did he do that? </em>
</p><p>That thought kind of terrified Ben. Because even though Leslie helped him with his campaign, even though she wanted him to win, was he stealing the glory away from her by doing something bigger and better? Was he pushing Leslie under the rug and unknowingly making her irrelevant?</p><p>He didn't want that. He never wanted that.</p><p>“Oh, don't look so <em>sad, </em> Benji baby,” Cindy pouted, as if she were talking to a child. “You got what you wanted. You proved to this whole school— the whole <em> town, </em>even, that you were worth more than Leslie Knope. You won that battle, babe.”</p><p>Their years-long rivalry… Ben won that. But then why did he feel like he had lost everything?</p><p>And he would still see Leslie in the hallways, in class, at lunch, and he would pretend like he didn't see her at all. Even when she glanced his way, he would direct his gaze elsewhere, as if he never saw her, as if she didn't mean a thing to him. And he told himself he was helping her, by doing this. Because this way she would see how awful he was and would stop kidding herself into thinking she loved him.</p><p>He was simply ripping the bandaid off. It hurt like hell, but it had to be done. Because there was nothing Ben was more scared of than falling in love with Leslie Knope.</p><p>So, he threw himself into work. Hardly the right kind of work, because his grades were dropping and he spent more time in his Mayoral office than anywhere else. Cindy would sit on his desk and pull at his tie and sigh into the air, signaling that she wanted attention, and he would give it. Sometimes. Other times, he buried himself into his paperwork and he created an idea.</p><p>These long nights, and Leslie, and Cindy… they formed an idea in Ben’s brain so spectacularly large that it could only serve as the world's biggest distraction. It would keep Cindy happy enough to stop her from whining, Ben busy enough that he would stop thinking about Leslie, and Leslie? Well… it would probably serve to keep her away from him.</p><p>So in the middle of the afternoon on a Monday, school just out of session, Ben Wyatt stood in front of all of Partridge and announced his plans to build <em> Ice Town.  </em></p><p>***</p><p>Leslie knew what Ben was doing.</p><p>Somehow, she thought she knew him better than anyone.</p><p>Ben would walk the halls with as much confidence in the world and then when he would see Leslie, he would falter.</p><p>Leslie still kept appearances, she was still Student Body President after all.</p><p>Which still meant nothing, more so now that Ben was <em> Mayor</em>.</p><p>So Leslie did what she thought was best, she kept her head down and continued working hard in her classes and fought hard to make Student Body President something to be known for.</p><p>Then he announced his plans for <em> Ice Town</em>.</p><p>Leslie was at the address, she always went to them. She <em>was </em>his Campaign Manager, so you would expect to see her there. She sat in the back row, still trying to keep her appearances down. But when Ben announced his plans, her head shot up, and tears pooled in her eyes because she knew why he was doing this. He was doing it for <em> Cindy</em>. She remembers hearing the end of their conversation a few weeks ago when she had wanted to ice skate somewhere “pretty,” whatever the hell that meant.</p><p>She left the address after that, not really expecting any more big news after that. She assumed that the press would be all over him and that he’d walk down the stairs and meet up with Cindy where they would makeout and talk about their future babies. </p><p>Leslie went home and she walked in to find her mom sitting at the dining room table. She had her glasses on but was looking over them when she looked towards the front door to see Leslie walking in. </p><p>“So, I heard about Mayor Ben’s new plans.”</p><p>Mayor Ben. Leslie knew him before he was Mayor Ben or Cindy’s boyfriend. She simply knew him as her <em>rival </em>Ben or as the Ben she was in love with.</p><p>Leslie shook her head, she was exhausted. “Yeah, I was at the address.”</p><p>Marlene pressed her, seeming to know there was more behind what her daughter was telling her. “What do you think about it?” She had turned back to her work that was spread out on the table.</p><p>“I don’t really care, honestly.” Leslie sighed, “I’m not his manager anymore. It’s not like I’d have a say, anyways.”</p><p>If Marlene had anything else to say, she let it go. Leslie ran up the stairs and went to her room, shutting the door behind her. She fell on her bed and for once she didn’t cry. Maybe she had cried too much recently to let her cry now or maybe she was exhausted and angry instead. She had slept less than she had before, only getting 2-3 hours every night.</p><p>Most of the time she thought about Ben and his stupid cute face. Leslie knew that he had thrown himself into <em> Ice Town </em>for a reason, but she couldn’t figure it out. She decided to fill binders of it all, something to distract her from the situation since she could focus on it close up.</p><p>After she filled a few binders she decided to work on her ideas for something to redeem herself at school. Ben swept out from under her and stole the last remaining spotlight on her. Normally, Leslie was able to think of ideas quickly, this time she was lost. She was completely lost on what to do. So, Leslie called her beautiful best friend, Ann Perkins.</p><p>Ann was always the voice of reason in her life, so Leslie assumed that she would say something brilliant, like always, instead Ann suggested something completely different.</p><p>“What if you broke some rules?”</p><p>Leslie looked at Ann like she was crazy. <em> To hell with voice of reason.  </em></p><p>Leslie never responded so Ann continued, “You know you could get back at the school somehow. Make everyone think you’re <em> cool </em>again.”</p><p>“I’ve always been cool!”</p><p>Ann looked at her straight-faced and tilted her head.</p><p>“Okay, yeah, you’re right.”</p><p>With Ann’s help, Leslie filled many binders that night and they had the brilliant idea to decorate the school. When everyone would walk in there would be streamers and balloons and music playing loudly from the speakers. It was one of the best non-educational ideas she’s ever had.</p><p>…</p><p>Leslie was so excited to get her idea in place, she was at school 6 hours early to get everything done. After everything was in place, she realized she had gotten way too many materials, which she should have expected, she overdid everything she worked at.</p><p>So, Leslie had another idea.</p><p>She would take the supplies to the Mayor’s Office.</p><p>It was still too early for anyone to be there and she obviously had a key, because even though Ben ignored her, he still sent her one anyway.</p><p>Leslie arrived and decorated everything just like she did at Partridge High. She also set it up so that it would play <em> Whoomp! (There It Is) </em>when someone would walk in.</p><p>This was probably Leslie’s best and worst idea, but honestly, she didn’t care. This would finally show the school (and Ben) that she was Student Body President for a reason.</p><p>Even if this was severely against everything she normally stood for. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What the hell did you do that for?”</p>
<p><em> “Ben? </em>What are you doing at my house?”</p>
<p>He stood in Leslie’s doorstep in the middle of the afternoon, red faced and barely breathing. Because he knew, <em> he knew, </em>the second he stopped into his Mayoral office that day, that she was behind this.</p>
<p>He knew the second he connected that the decorations matched those of Partridge High’s in the halls that day. He knew because it smelled of her, that faint hint of vanilla, and he knew she touched everything and he couldn't escape her. He knew because he had <em> stupidly </em>given her a key to the office back when he was first inaugurated, and he had forgotten all about it.</p>
<p>And now he was confused, and angry, and he felt like he was suffocating, and he kind of wanted to punch a wall but also really wanted to cry. His hair was sticking up all over the place from gripping at it and his tie was loose and he was in Leslie Knope’s doorway.</p>
<p>“My <em> office, </em>Leslie. I know that was you. You're one of the only people I gave a key to.”</p>
<p>Leslie pursed her lips and looked over her shoulder. “Maybe you should come inside.”</p>
<p><em> “No. </em>No, I don't need to come inside. This’ll be a quick visit.” Against his better judgement, he held his hand out to her, palm up. “I want my key back.”</p>
<p>He could see the hurt flash across her face, how unexpected this request was, even after everything. She faltered, took a step back from him. “I… what?”</p>
<p>“Give me my key back,” he pressed. “I probably shouldn't have given you it in the first place. Especially not if you're going to vandalize my office.”</p>
<p>That was enough to shake her out of her stupor, enough to make her mad. <em> “Vandalize? </em>Oh, that's a bit dramatic, don't you think? Now that you're Mayor, you're all big and mighty and superior, huh?”</p>
<p>Ben shook his head, his hand still waiting for the key. “I never said that. Look, I just want my key back—”</p>
<p>“What are you being such <em> a dick </em>for, Wyatt?” she yelled, and it was enough to make Ben lower his hand, curling it into a fist and shoving it into his pockets. “You don't get to come to my house and be an ass to me. I'm sick of you treating me like this lately, I mean, do you have any idea how it makes me feel?”</p>
<p>Ben’s palms were sweaty and shaky, and suddenly he kind of wished he had never come here at all. Leslie yelling at him hurt more than it should have, but goddammit, he guessed he kind of deserved it. He wanted Leslie to move on, to start to hate him, to realize she deserved better… so he was just getting his wish, right?</p>
<p>“I…” And now he couldn't find his words, stunned into silence by her cursing. He stared at the floor and squeezed his eyes shut. “I guess I just thought… it was best for you.”</p>
<p>He winced, as if expecting her outburst. <em> “Best for me? </em> As if you get to decide what's best for me? I told you how I feel, and you ran away, and you think that's what's <em> best for me?” </em></p>
<p><em> Yes, </em> he thought to himself. <em> Because I'm not worth your love. Because I'm not good enough for you. </em></p>
<p>
  <em> Because I'm fucking scared. </em>
</p>
<p>Putting his heart on his sleeve and becoming completely vulnerable to Leslie, the girl who was his rival… it was more terrifying to him than being Mayor ever was.</p>
<p>“Stop,” Ben gasped. “Stop saying that. That you… you told me how you feel.”</p>
<p>“I did. I love you, Ben. I hate it, but it's true—”</p>
<p><em> “It's not true!” </em>he snapped. “It's not fucking true, Leslie! You're delusional, or out to get me, or fooling yourself, because you don't love me. There's no way, you can't…”</p>
<p>And he realized somewhere in there that he started crying, squeezing his eyes shut to push them away, and his chest ached, a physical pain that made his heart feel heavy. And even though he was yelling, and cruel, he felt a small hand on his arm, gentle, but firm enough to ground him.</p>
<p>“Hey.” She touched his chin, pulling his face up so that he would look at her. “I don't know what convinced you that I couldn't love you, but I do. Even if… even if you don't love me back.”</p>
<p>“That's not it,” Ben choked, and he felt Leslie stiffen.</p>
<p>“It's… not?”</p>
<p>He shook his head, over and over again, not really sure what he was doing, or what he was saying. “I… I want you. God, I want you. More than anything, Leslie. I have for a while now.”</p>
<p>“So… is that kiss…?”</p>
<p>Ben swallowed hard. “It didn't mean nothing. It kind of meant everything.”</p>
<p>And Leslie’s eyes shifted, started to look a little hopeful, and her grip on his arm tightened. She was so close to him, close enough that he could wrap his arms around her, he could smell the shampoo she always used in her hair, he could see her lips gently part as she looked at him. “Then… I don't understand,” she whispered. “Then why are you…”</p>
<p>“I can't,” he said simply. “I just can't. Because… because I'm scared. Because I'm the Mayor. Because I have a girlfriend, now, who could destroy the both of us. Because it's too much, too soon. Because no matter how hard I try, I can't believe you when you say you love me.”</p>
<p>Leslie's eyes started to well up with tears, but he didn't wipe them away. He couldn't touch her, or that tiny bit of self-restraint he had would snap. “But… I do love you. I swear to you. And you and I, don't you think that could be worth it?”</p>
<p>“No, Leslie, no, don't do this…”</p>
<p>“Well, why not?” She gripped him harder, pulled him closer, and he could feel her body against his, the pounding of his heart deafening him. “If you feel the same way, Ben, isn't that enough? If I say that I love you, can't that be enough? To just say screw it?”</p>
<p>
  <em> Can't that be enough? </em>
</p>
<p>But Ben has never been the type to be able to say <em> screw it. </em>Ben looked at things and studied them from all angles. Ben liked to plan, and research. He liked to be cautious, to not take any steps that could throw him off the deep end. He didn't like to make any decisions until he was absolutely sure of them.</p>
<p>Becoming Mayor was the most reckless he had ever been. Announcing the plans for Ice Town, even, was too reckless for his own liking. But these things, they mattered so little to him next to Leslie, and she was something he just couldn't afford to be reckless about.</p>
<p>He tore his arm away from her, backed up several steps. He had to get away, he had to leave. “It can't be enough, Leslie. And for what it's worth, I really am sorry.”</p>
<p>She stepped back as if she had been burned, clutching her arm to her chest. “But… if you love me…”</p>
<p>“That's the thing though, Leslie. I don't love you.”</p>
<p>And it was the worst thing he ever said in his life, the words like acid in his throat, out before he could stop them. They shocked her into silence, and Ben felt numb.</p>
<p>What he should've added? <em> I just can't afford to love you. </em></p>
<p>By the time Ben got back home and collapsed into his bed, trying not to cry, he realized he had never gotten his key back from her.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Becoming Mayor was Ben’s reckless act, while Ben was Leslie’s.</p>
<p>Leslie always thought through relationships, always thought that they should be planned and worked out, but something about Ben made her want to say <em> screw it</em>.</p>
<p>And she did.</p>
<p>But instead it blew up in her face.</p>
<p>The one time she was reckless, the one time she thought she could risk and get the reward, failed on her.</p>
<p>Leslie had always been scared about relationships after all of the ways she had been broken up with and she thought that maybe, <em> just maybe</em>, Ben would risk this too.</p>
<p>But he didn’t.</p>
<p>And Leslie was heartbroken.</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>Leslie kept her head down at school the next day like she had told herself to do even before Ben announced his plans for <em> Ice Town</em>. She had stayed over in her history class and after working on some extra credit, she heard slight whisperings coming from the door. She turned her head to see none other than Cindy Eckert. She was surrounded by her “friend” group, or whatever they called themselves, and were staring right at Leslie.</p>
<p>Cindy made the first move and walked over to Leslie, while Cindy’s friend group dispersed. Cindy had a mischievous smile on her lips and sat on a desk in front of Leslie, placing her feet in the chair.</p>
<p>“What do you want, Cindy?” Leslie said it with a coldness in her tone, not looking up from her paper that she had begun working on again. Cindy looked fake taken aback, placing her hand on her chest and backed up dramatically, spitting out a scoff.</p>
<p>“Is that anyway to talk to the Mayor’s <em> girlfriend</em>?” Cindy’s smile grew. She was <em> trying </em>to make Leslie aggravated. </p>
<p>Leslie rolled her eyes, moving to collecting the scattered papers on her desk. Leslie didn’t respond to Cindy’s question and simply asked her own question again, becoming impatient, “What do you want, Cindy?”</p>
<p>Cindy rolled her eyes in return and forcefully grabbed Leslie’s wrist when she tried to make her way to the door. “You think I don’t know?” </p>
<p>Leslie yanked her wrist out of Cindy’s grasp and moved her books to her side. “What are you talking about?” Leslie asked it, exasperated.</p>
<p>“You and Benji. I see the way you look at him, you can’t hide this from me.” Leslie was disgusted on the way Cindy said Benji, but she didn’t have time to think about it when she realized what Cindy was talking about. <em> Had she been that obvious?  </em></p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p>
<p>“Right.” Cindy moved closer to Leslie’s face, face breaking out into something Leslie could only be fearful of, but she didn’t show it. “I know you’re in love with him. That’s why you helped him with his campaign, it was to spend more time with him. No-one knows, but if you get near him, or even look at him, this will spread like wildfire. It would ruin you. It would ruin Benji. We wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Cindy pouted, but there was no sadness in her eyes, just coldness and pure evil.</p>
<p>Leslie shook her head, “You’re a bitch.”</p>
<p>Cindy looked at Leslie with pride when she heard the remark, “Sure, but it’s so fun to mess with you. You’ll never get him Knope, he’s in love with <em> me</em>,” Cindy pointed to herself, matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” This time when Leslie walked out, Cindy didn’t stop her. </p>
<p>Leslie tried to process everything, trying to think of some loophole. Even if Ben didn’t think he deserved it, or thought Leslie was crazy, she did love him. She and Ben hadn’t talked since he came to her doorstep, but she couldn’t bear not <em> seeing </em>him.</p>
<p>This was for the best, though.</p>
<p>Leslie loved Ben, but his happiness mattered a lot more than hers did. So, if she had to never speak to him again, that was fine, because Ben would go so far in life without her holding him back. If Cindy did let anything out, both of their political careers would be over, Leslie would never let that happen to Ben.</p>
<p>That night, Leslie replayed everything from the conversation with Ben. She thought about it constantly, trying to remember his body language or the way his voice faltered, anything to try and make sense of the two of them.</p>
<p>She did everything she could in the moment to get him, <em> make him</em>, understand, that she really did love him. </p>
<p>One thing she had connected, was that Ben never thought he deserved love. She knew his parent’s divorce made him believe that he wasn’t loved, <em> because wouldn’t his parents stay together if they loved him</em>? Cindy made everything worse. <em> Typical</em>. She carried him around like a trophy, never really expressing her true feelings towards him.</p>
<p>She hurt <em> for </em> Ben. Even if he made her upset and angry, she knew he deserved so much more than he thought he did. Leslie seemed to carry everyone’s feelings on her shoulders, but she never experienced something like Ben’s.</p>
<p>Leslie sometimes led herself to take aspects of their conversation and put it into a different context, because sometimes that was all she could handle. Little moments with a guy who saw her as a friend.</p>
<p>
  <em> I… I want you. God, I want you. More than anything, Leslie. I have for a while now. </em>
</p>
<p>But she knew she was being selfish and so she tried to block it out. Tried to reason with herself that she’s doing this all for Ben.</p>
<p>Ben didn’t love her and she would have to understand that. <em> Wanting her </em> is a lot different than <em> loving her</em>, even though she wished otherwise.</p>
<p>The only thing she could decide with the last remaining sense she had, was to put the key to the Mayor’s Office on a chain. She put it on herself and looked at herself in the mirror. Her tears were still fresh and her cheeks were blood red. She hid the key behind her shirt, but she decided to wear it so that it’d be close to her heart, because that was all of Ben she had left.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leslie was at Ann’s house early on Sunday. She couldn’t sleep, but it’s not like she has in the past few months. Leslie was so tired of being <em>tired </em>over Ben. She was constantly trying to think of some way to see him or talk to him, but there was nothing she could do.</p><p>Ann’s parents had been away for the weekend, prompting Leslie to get there very early. She knocked softly, not really having much energy to do anything else. Leslie played with her necklace subconsciously, patiently waiting for Ann to open the door. She must have woken her, because when Ann opened the door her eyes were squinted and she was rubbing her palm into her eye.</p><p>“Leslie?” <em> Yes, she definitely just woke up Ann, if the tone in her voice is any indication. </em></p><p>Ann seemed to fully wake up when she saw Leslie’s expression. She wasn’t her bright self anymore, she didn’t have to put up the facade with Ann, even though she normally tried to. Leslie’s hair was in a low bun and a few strands were loose in the front. She pushed them behind her ears and gave a sad smile.</p><p>“Hi. Can I come in?”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Ann took a side step from the door, letting Leslie walk by her. Leslie dropped onto the couch, head leaning back on the top of the cushion. Leslie found the remote, clicking the news on for some kind of background noise, trying to let her mind think of something else.</p><p>Ann sat down hesitantly, hand moving to rub up and down Leslie’s arm. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Based on Ann’s expression, she already knew what was wrong, but there was still a lot to unfold. Leslie hadn’t told Ann about anything that’s happened recently, she honestly didn’t know how to. Cindy had scared her into not telling <em>anyone </em>about <em>anything</em>.</p><p>Leslie choked back a few sobs, not trying to let hell break loose just yet.</p><p>“I told Ben I loved him.” Ann backed up ever so slightly, glee and fear both flashing across her face. “Well, that’s good right?” </p><p>Leslie chuckled sadly and shrugged her shoulders, “So you would think. He turned me down, said he didn’t <em>love </em>me but that he <em>wants </em>me, whatever that means. God, this is all so confusing.” Ann frowned sympathetically, moving to wrap her arms around Leslie.</p><p>Leslie started crying when she ended, breaking down into sobs. She hadn’t told her situation to anyone, so when she finally told Ann everything, it hurt more than it had before. It somehow magnified how much Ben meant to her, and in turn how much it broke her that he turned her down. She continued crying, but they turned into small hiccups.</p><p>Ann was still hugging her, but she had tensed in their embrace. Her head was turned towards the TV and she began pushing Leslie up. “Leslie, you might want to take a look at this.” Leslie wiped under her nose with her hand and first glanced at Ann with a confused expression before looking toward the TV. </p><p>The news was still on and there were reporters in front of the Mayoral Office. Leslie perked up quickly, wiping the rest of the tears from her face. Ann stood up and miraculously went to go make pancakes, which was probably the best idea, considering the situation.</p><p>The headline on the screen said that there was a big update referring to Mayor Ben’s <em> Ice Town </em> project. Even though she shouldn’t be, she was excited for him. Ben had worked so hard to win and this project, albeit a bit far fetched, seemed like a great idea, since they lived in Partridge, Minnesota. <em> And so that he could win Cindy over even more. </em></p><p>Leslie shook her head and closed her eyes, only to find Ben on-screen when she opened them again. She fell back onto the couch and crossed her arms, ready to hear new updates on Ben’s project, but once she looked at him, her face dropped. His shoulders were tense and he looked exhausted. </p><p>After a long silence, Ben sighed and dropped his shoulders forcefully. “Today, I’ve come to report on the progress of <em> Ice Town </em>.” Another sigh. “After a few months of work, auditors have concluded that this was a major loss for the town.” Ben took another long pause, looking out towards the many cameras and reporters. “The town’s bankrupt.”</p><p>Leslie gasped and stood up, along with all of the reporters. It looked like the ending scene to <em> Iron Man </em>when Tony Stark announced he <em>was </em> Iron Man. <em> Good lord, Ben seriously rubbed off his nerdiness to her. </em> Many reporters were shouting questions at him, but they were informed that he wouldn’t be taking any.</p><p>Ben glanced out towards the crowd again, “I’m sorry.” He looked like he was about to cry. “I’m so sorry.” He shook his head, looking down to his hands, which were fidgeting more than Leslie had ever seen. He glanced up once more, looking straight towards a camera, which happened to be the one that Leslie was seeing the broadcast from. He repeated himself quietly, and sadly, “I’m sorry.” </p><p>It was like he <em>knew</em>, he <em>knew </em>that camera would be the one Leslie was watching him from. Leslie’s breath hitched and she shook her head, running out of Ann’s house, completely forgetting to say goodbye or that pancakes were being made.</p><p>
  <em> Ben bankrupt the town. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Ben sat in Cindy Eckert’s room, on her bed, pretending like his entire world wasn't crashing down around him.</p><p>Ben had made a bad decision, a very bad decision, and now he couldn't seem to stop himself from making them.</p><p>Cindy didn't say anything when he stopped by her house, she just dragged him in by his shirt collar and started kissing him against her closed bedroom door. And Ben was fine with that, because he needed a distraction more than anything. After standing in front of his town and having to say his plans were making them bankrupt… well, Ben had to do anything at all to stop himself from running to Leslie.</p><p>So he wrapped his arms around Cindy’s waist and pulled her up to his lap so she could straddle him. She was fiercer than usual, digging her nails into Ben’s shoulders, tugging at strands of his hair, sinking her teeth into his neck. She'd never been like this before.</p><p>Ben held her face in his hands and dragged her back up so he could kiss her, and everything about it felt wrong. It was like she didn't quite fit right in his palms, against his body, she didn't move with him like he expected her to. It was frustrating, and she had to be picking up on that too, because suddenly she was pushing Ben back so he was laying on the bed, towering above him.</p><p>“What are you doing, Ben?” she asked him, and there was no love in her tone. This was not a sexy question. And maybe it was because she called him Ben instead of <em> Benji, </em>but something about this suddenly felt very, very off, more so than before.</p><p>She was still straddling him, and that combined with Ben’s fear kept him from moving. “I…” he mumbled. “I… kissing you?”</p><p>Cindy smiled at him. “No, you're not. Not really. You're kissing me, but you're not thinking of me, are you?”</p><p>Ben swallowed hard. “Yes I am.”</p><p>She grabbed Ben’s hands and placed them on her hips. “Then say my name. Who am I?”</p><p>“This is ridiculous—”</p><p>
  <em> “Say my name, Ben.” </em>
</p><p>Ben shuddered underneath her, and he had never wanted to run away more. “Cindy,” he whispered, feeling wrong, and dirty, and awful. He had come here for a distraction and now he was falling apart.</p><p>
  <em> Ben Wyatt, Human Disaster. </em>
</p><p>“You're starting to bore me, Benji. And you're on thin ice.”</p><p>Ben choked. “Is that… a pun?”</p><p>She ignored him. “I started dating the <em> Mayor</em>, not some loser kid who's going to bankrupt the town.”</p><p>“You're the one that asked for a winter sports complex—”</p><p>“And you should've done better! You need to fix this, right the hell now, fix this town and get Ice Town back. Before they start talking about impeachment and you lose your job <em> and </em>your girlfriend.”</p><p>Oh god. </p><p>
  <em> Impeachment. </em>
</p><p>…</p><p>That word haunted Ben for over a week.</p><p>
  <em> Impeachment. </em>
</p><p>And it didn't take long before he wasn't the only one thinking it. Everywhere he went, he started to hear whispers, the way people looked at him, and every day it got louder. <em> Impeachment, impeachment, impeachment.  </em></p><p>“Heard they might impeach Wyatt.”</p><p>“He has it coming. What the hell was he thinking?”</p><p>“Lots of impeachment rumors. I kind of hope they're true.”</p><p>“Partridge <em> should </em>impeach him, this is becoming a disaster.”</p><p>Everywhere he fucking went, it was all the same.</p><p>And honestly, Ben started kind of thanking the universe that he was still Cindy’s boyfriend, because that alone kept the worst of the whispers at bay. They were all rumors, anyway, and there were no real calls to impeach him just yet, but he was still scared.</p><p>And the one fucking person he wanted to talk to… he couldn't, because he stupidly told her he didn't love her.</p><p>On a Sunday night, really dreading school, Ben knew he was reaching a new low when he picked up the phone and dialed his dad's number.</p><p>He almost didn't pick up. “Benny?” he answered. “The hell you calling me for while I'm out?”</p><p>“Dad,” he whispered, and <em>fuck, </em>his voice wouldn't stop cracking. “I just… I just needed to talk to you. I miss you.”</p><p>“You saw me yesterday, don't act like you miss me already.”</p><p>“But I <em> do.” </em>And it was in these moments that Ben truly felt only eighteen years old. Too young for this, not mature enough, not ready. He felt like just a kid, a kid who was in way over his head and needed a real adult to put him back on the right track. “Please, Dad. I need advice. I don't know how to fix this.”</p><p>Ben’s dad huffed on the other end of the phone. “You want me to fix the problems you created? You fucked up, kid, I can't do anything for you.”</p><p>His hands were shaking so badly that he could barely keep his phone to his ear. “Wait, Dad, please don't—”</p><p>“Don't call me about this again, kid. It's not my problem.”</p><p>And his dad hung up before Ben could get another word out, the phone slipping from his hand and onto his bed. He held his head in his hands and he tried not to cry, tried not to care that not even his own father wanted to help him with this, tried not to think about the fact that no one in Partridge hated Ben Wyatt more than <em> Ben Wyatt. </em></p><p>There was a soft knock on his bedroom door, and his head shot up, wiping away his tears. His brother Henry stood there, looking somber, passing a water bottle his way.</p><p>“You called Dad, didn't you?” he asked. Ben just nodded.</p><p>“I shouldn't have. I should've known he wouldn't care.”</p><p>Henry sighed heavily, paused in the doorway, and then finally came into Ben’s room to sit on the bed next to him. “Look, I didn't wanna have to say this, because giving your little brother advice about anything that isn't <em> girls </em>is kind of not cool.”</p><p>Ben smirked a little at that. “But?”</p><p>“But you'll be okay. There's no official call for your impeachment yet, and you can still make change as Mayor. You can fix this. And your Prom is coming up, so you should totally just focus on that.”</p><p>And Ben couldn't help but laugh, because he knew Henry was adding that part just so he didn't feel weird about being nice to his brother. “Fat chance on Prom. Cindy’s probably gonna dump me any day now.”</p><p>Henry shrugged. “Who said anything about Cindy?”</p><p>Oh. </p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No, no, no. </em>
</p><p>Henry clapped his shoulder and stood up. “Girls love roses, Ben.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leslie decided that it was best to completely forget about everything going on with Ben.</p><p>
  <em> Okay, that’s a lie. </em>
</p><p>She couldn’t <em> forget about everything going on with Ben, </em> instead she had to divert her attention to something else entirely. Something so big that could distract her for a few weeks, even. Then, it came to her late in the evening, like many of her brilliant ideas.</p><p>
  <em> Prom. </em>
</p><p>Leslie hadn’t even thought about Prom, she didn’t have time to. But this was the best way to distract her from Ben, as best she could anyways. There were talks about Ben being impeached and if she wasn’t working on ideas for Prom she was working on ways to help fight against his impeachment, if it were to ever happen. <em> Which it wouldn’t. Right? Ben can’t get impeached.  </em></p><p>She pushed it aside for now, trying to focus on her massive 3-inch binder full of Prom themes. She had these ideas saved for years now, only waiting for the right moment that she got to use it. She flipped through each page slowly, taking in all the details, when she got to a worn out page near the middle of the binder.</p><p>
  <em> Harry Potter Themed Prom </em>
</p><p>Leslie grinned, her excitement growing with every glance towards the page. Even though Leslie had enough materials to cover her house, and probably Ann’s as well, she knew she had to get more. She knew <em> Harry Potter </em>like the back of her hand and she wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to make this the best Senior Prom ever.</p><p>Over the next few weeks, Leslie had many banners made to be placed around school informing people on the theme and so that she could start boosting the excitement. What was great is that Leslie could <em> feel </em> it. Everyone seemed to be ecstatic, even if they weren’t <em> Harry Potter </em>fans and it made Leslie happier than she’s been in weeks.</p><p>She had close to five binders full of table placements, the <em> correct </em>colors for each house, unlike how the movies failed to deliver with Ravenclaw’s colors, and how to do special elements to make it as realistic as possible. She could have scattered candlesticks hanging from the ceilings, the tables would be lined like the Great Hall, and the tables would each have color-coordinating snacks and drinks.</p><p>After weeks of preparation, Leslie finally had <em> some </em>time off. Even though there was a buzz about Prom going through the halls, there was also a tension. There had been whisperings for weeks about Ben’s impeachment. She had heard them all, and sadly she knew how it was effecting Ben. From a distance she could see how his shoulders would tense up and his head would drop while he ran his fingers through his hair.</p><p>Then one day, the whisperings came true.</p><p>There would be an impeachment vote against Ben Wyatt.</p><p>Leslie was shocked. She never thought <em> this </em> would happen. She also never thought she would fall in love with him, but here she was. Her ideas against his impeachment became stronger and more specific. She would highlight certain strong suits in Ben’s short, but productive, Mayoral run. She threw together a binder entitled: <em> How to Stop Benji Wyatt’s Mayoral Impeachment.  </em></p><p>Leslie ran her hand along the front of it and chuckled to herself. A few months ago she had finished another binder, one with an entirely different title, on how to <em> stop </em> his Mayoral campaign. Inside this very much new and improved binder were details on how to slow down the trial and increase people's awareness of the good that Ben had done for Partridge. Yet, there was still one more problem.</p><p>
  <em> Cindy Eckert. </em>
</p><p>Cindy had threatened Leslie weeks ago, telling her to not interfere with anything relating to Ben. Leslie didn’t have to think about it long. Even if Ben wasn’t going to say it, she would.</p><p>
  <em> Screw it. </em>
</p><p>…</p><p>Leslie was able to pull in multiple reporters from all over Minnesota to talk about Ben’s impeachment. <em> She had never been so nervous. </em>She had added a few pages to her binder since she had first looked at it, even more fine details and ways to inform people more than ever on not only Ben’s accomplishments, but Ben as a person.</p><p>After the beginning remarks, Leslie walked on the stage and stood behind the podium. They were in front of City Hall, but Leslie couldn’t look at it in awe as she usually did. She was facing away from it, looking at a sea of reporters and citizens, some that she didn’t even recognize. </p><p>Before she began speaking, she looked around in the audience to find him. She finally caught his eye, his color was drained and his eyes were wide. <em> No, she had not informed him that she would be doing this. </em>She tried to smile softly at him, but it must have been weak, since he didn’t return it like normal. She looked to his right to find Cindy hanging on to him like a vine, her jaw dropped and her eyes wide, if not wider, than Ben’s. Leslie’s face turned into a scold towards her before directing her face to the mass of reporters.</p><p>She softened, face bright and her tone optimistic, “Hello everyone, thank you for being here today. As it’s come to my attention, and I’m sure many of yours, Mayor Ben Wyatt has been called to be impeached. I have come here to say that I am disgusted at this.” She chanced a look at Ben to see him looking towards the ground and he let out a heavy breath, but he looked back up at her with a certain gleam in his eyes, and it gave her the confidence to continue. “Ben has done so much good for this town and for the people of Partridge. Sure, Ice Town did bankrupt the town, but he did it for the <em> people,</em>” Leslie emphasized people, but was not going to go as far as to mention Cindy.</p><p>Leslie looked down at binder set on the podium and took a deep breath, “Ben loves this town. He’s fought for it more times than I can count. And if that’s not enough for you, then I don’t know what is.”</p><p>There was an uproar of questions and remarks, but all Leslie did was close her binder and walk off stage. She looked towards Ben again, but this time he was <em> smiling. He was actually smiling at her. </em>Leslie smiled back and he nodded, a silent thank you. Just as she turned her head she saw Cindy storm off and as Leslie continued walking she couldn’t help but smirk and shake her head.</p><p>
  <em> All hell is about to break loose. </em>
</p><p>***</p><p>Ben had been in a Leslie-induced haze for hours.</p><p>No matter what he did, where he was, he was constantly thinking about her in front of City Hall, speaking out for him, <em> him, </em>when all he’d done lately is ignore her, string her along, and act like a jerk.</p><p>And he’d bankrupt the entire town. Tons of people were losing their jobs all because of him. He had done a terrible thing, and still she chose to defend him, to speak out against his impeachment.</p><p><em> His impeachment. </em>Yeah, and that was also real, and coming up very quickly.</p><p>But weirdly enough, he found himself standing in the school hallway with a smile on his face. People were shouting at him, yelling terrible things, sometimes even throwing things at him, but <em> he was smiling. </em>Because he couldn't stop thinking about all Leslie had done for him when he definitely didn't deserve her.</p><p>Of course, good things don't last forever. And his good mood came crashing down far too quickly.</p><p><em> “Benjamin Wyatt!” </em>a girl’s voice shrieked, and, oh god, he knew that voice anywhere. He had been very anxiously avoiding her since Leslie's speech, ducking away from her any chance he could get, but now? Now it was lunchtime, and the halls were full, and he couldn't get away this time.</p><p>“Cindy,” he greeted awkwardly, waving at her. Her heels clicked against the hall floor and her hair fanned out behind her, her face red with fury. “Uh… what's up?”</p><p>“You <em> asshole, </em>you complete asshole!” she screamed, and the hallway quieted, crowding around to catch a glimpse at Cindy Eckert tearing the failing Mayor a new one.</p><p>Ben was reminded very forcefully of when he asked her out, rose thorns in his palms, angry at Leslie for ruining his chances with this girl. </p><p>That felt like a lifetime ago.</p><p>“Cindy, do we have to do this here?” Ben begged, because the last thing he needed was to give his classmates another reason to bully him. “Please, lets just—”</p><p>“No, Ben. No more. You can't avoid me anymore, so we’re doing this here and now.” </p><p>Well, <em> fuck. </em>He couldn't run away, could he? He chanced a glance behind him and to the side, but there were students everywhere, blocking every exit, and dammit, why did he have to get so popular? Now everyone in the school wanted to know the drama the Mayor was getting into.</p><p>Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I'm assuming this is about—”</p><p>“That bitch’s speech? Yeah, no shit Sherlock.”</p><p>He froze, suddenly feeling much less nervous, much less scared. His voice dropped, his hands curled. “Don't you dare call her that.”</p><p>Cindy scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Why not, Benji? Because she's sucking your dick? You're right, she's not a bitch, she's a <em> whore—” </em></p><p><em> “Call her that one more time, I fucking dare you.” </em> Ben would never hit a girl, he swears, but he was seeing red. His body was actually shaking with the amount of anger that he was trying to contain, and he prayed that Leslie wasn't around to hear Cindy talk about her like that. She didn't deserve that. She didn't <em> fucking </em>deserve any of this. “You know what? Get out, Cindy. Go, we’re not—”</p><p>“Don't you <em> dare,” </em> she hissed, and she actually moved to press her whole hand over Ben’s mouth to stop him in his tracks. “I’m the one that's breaking up with you, Ben. Not the other way around. You ruined this entire town, you ruined everyone’s lives and your own. You're nothing more than a failed Mayor who destroyed his own career, and you're going to have to live with that for the rest of your <em> life.” </em></p><p>She still had her hand over his mouth, and Ben just stood there, glaring at her, not moving, even though he knew he could if he wanted to. But she was right, wasn't she?</p><p>Ben really was Mayor of Nothing.</p><p>Cindy smirked at him, and she had never looked more evil than she did in that moment. “In ten years from now, when I find you living in a box on the streets, I'll offer you a couple dollars, okay?”</p><p>When she walked away, there was only ringing in Ben’s ears.</p><p>He knew there was laughter, people were saying things to him, shoving past him, throwing paper wads at his head, but he was numb. He just stood there, in the middle of the hallway, completely unfeeling with Cindy’s words echoing in his head, and the severity of his looming impeachment didn't quite hit him until that very moment.</p><p>And then all feeling came back into his body, and he was running.</p><p>He didn't know where, only that he had to get <em> out, </em> as quickly as possible, away from Cindy and that hallway and his classmates and his impeachment and <em> his life. </em> And at some point in his running, he noticed there were tear stains on his cheeks and his eyes burned from crying for the fifth night in a row, and there was no where he could go to hide it, no where, no where, <em> no where— </em></p><p>She was there.</p><p>All his running brought him to her.</p><p>She sat in an abandoned classroom pouring over binders and notes and he knew it was for Prom. He knew she was putting her whole heart and soul into this Prom and it's theme and making it perfect, just for this stupid school to not give her the recognition she deserves. And it seemed impossible, then, how anyone could look at Leslie Knope and not want to give her the entire world.</p><p>“Leslie?”</p><p>His voice was soft, and he choked on her name, but it was enough. She jumped, clearly surprised, several papers flying to the floor. “Ben? What are you— oh my god, are you okay?”</p><p>And even though he was the worst person in the world to her, she stood up to get closer to him when she noticed the tears in his eyes. And suddenly, Ben couldn't do this anymore. <em> He couldn't do this anymore. </em></p><p>“Not having you around is hell,” he told her, and she stopped short a few feet away from him. “I miss you. <em> God, </em>I— I miss you all the time. And I can't promise I'm ready for you, or I'm ready to totally open up, or ready to say screw it, but what I do know is that I can't do this without you.”</p><p>Her lips parted, tilting her head at him. She was careful, so careful, he could tell. “Ben—”</p><p>“I just… I need you in my life,” he gasped. “You're too important to me. And I'm asking… maybe I'm asking for a lot, but I'm asking if we can be friends.”</p><p>
  <em> Friends. </em>
</p><p>Because no matter how much Ben wanted her, right now they were too fragile, and they needed time. They needed a step in the right direction, and this could be it.</p><p>“I won this election with the help of my best friend,” he whispered. “So I might as well lose it with her, too.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Leslie was hopeful, she was so </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>hopeful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, Ben was currently fighting impeachment, but he and Cindy just broke up, and they would become friends again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Friends.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie smiled at the thought. She missed Ben as much as he seemed to miss her and recently she could see the cracks breaking through her tough exterior. But Ben and Leslie were like kintsugi, Leslie was cracking but Ben seemed to be the gold that put her back together. Sometimes, it was the other way round and Leslie thought that’s why they worked so well together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was still staring at Ben, her papers for prom still scattered around the floor, and all she could think to do was hug him, and she started to cry too. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God, she missed him so much. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How tight his hold was on her, how her arms slotted perfectly around him, it’s like all was right in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie stepped back and she whipped the dry tears off of his face, like she did so many months ago on the field. Sadly, this time she couldn’t tell Ben that he was up in the polls, only up in people who wanted to vote him out of office. She never replied to him, her silence being an answer in itself, and she was sure Ben understood. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course I’ll be there with you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben and Leslie went to JJ’s that night and sat in the same booth that they used to, their orders being out in minutes. JJ seemed happier than normal when he brought their food to them and Leslie sensed it was because JJ was always a silent supporter of the two of them. Ben and Leslie hadn’t been to JJ’s together in a few weeks, so JJ must have picked something up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie was midway through a waffle when Ben spoke up, “I really like your prom theme,” he smiled that dorky smile that Leslie missed so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> much. Her face brightened and she dropped her fork on top of her plate, “really?” Leslie loved the theme, but hearing Ben’s approval meant everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben nodded his head and scrunched his eyebrows, “It’s perfect, actually. It’s… It’s Leslie Knope,” he tilted his head to look up to her and smiled softly, before digging back into his food. Leslie kept her eyes on him though, smiling at him, never really wanting to look away, until he broke the silence again, “I’m totally a Ravenclaw, by the way.” Ben pointed his fork at her and she raised her eyebrows at him to continue, “and I one hundred percent support your decision on keeping the original Ravenclaw colors,” Ben shook his head and looked down, “I love the movies, but it is a total disgrace to change those sacred colors.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie laughed but her expression turned soft. “You’ve read the books?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben dramatically looked taken aback, placing his hand over his heart and gasping heavily, “of course I have. Not reading the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry Potter </span>
  </em>
  <span>books is like watching the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Star Wars </span>
  </em>
  <span>prequels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie shook her head, “I haven’t seen them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, keep it that way.”</span>
</p><p><span>Leslie chuckled and her whole exterior seemed to melt away. She sighed heavily and smiled, she hadn’t been able to have free conversation like this in weeks. </span><em><span>And it was with</span></em> <em><span>Ben.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>Leslie turned the conversation back to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry Potter.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She crossed her arms and sat back in the booth, “I’ve seen you as a Hufflepuff sometimes.” She was half joking, half being serious. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was a total Ravenclaw. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben audibly gasped, his eyes widening. “You take that back.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie shrugged her shoulders, “What? You’re incredibly fair and just, and you also care a lot about the people close to you. You’re also extremely dedicated and hardworking, I mean you became </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mayor </span>
  </em>
  <span>for God’s sake.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>You also let people, Cindy, walk all over you. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Leslie wasn’t about to mention that though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben’s smile faltered at that, which made her realize she probably should </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>have mentioned anything pertaining to being Mayor right now, but his smile quickly returned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then you’re a Slytherin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never say that to me again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I agree, that was pretty low.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both laughed and they fell into a comfortable rhythm for the rest of the time at JJ’s. Leslie was so happy, but she’s never seen Ben this carefree in months. He was laughing and making jokes and acting like </span>
  <em>
    <span>her </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben. </span>
  <em>
    <span>If “her” Ben was a thing she could say. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Leslie didn’t want to think about this though, not tonight. Instead, she simply enjoyed the rest of her time with Ben.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After dinner, </span>
  <em>
    <span>breakfast?</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Ben and Leslie decided to go for a drive, both not really wanting the evening to end. It was still somewhat light outside and if they found a place soon enough, they could watch the sunset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie had an idea of where to go and they could probably make it just in time before the sun began to set. They both jumped into the car and Leslie started to drive before Ben spoke up, “where are we going?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie glanced at him quickly before returning her eyes to the road, smiling slightly, “you’ll see.”</span>
</p><p><span>Ben played a lot of music on the way there, a lot of it being Leslie’s choices. First they played the Spice Girls,</span> <span>which Ben surprisingly knew some of the words to, next Ben played some Sarah McLachlan, knowing that it was something Leslie liked to listen to, but Ben wrapped it up with </span><em><span>Let’s Stay Together </span></em><span>by Al Green. Leslie actually really enjoyed the song, but had never mentioned it before. Ben, seeming to pick up on Leslie’s lack of response to the song choice, responded self-consciously, “I really like this song.” </span></p><p>
  <span>Leslie smiled at him and nodded her head, replying softly, “I do too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They arrived at Leslie's choice destination right after the song ended and the sun was close to setting. Leslie reached for Ben’s hand, not really thinking about what she was doing, and ran towards an outstretched part of land before stopping, the view finally becoming visible.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A wildflower field.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They both stopped and took in the view, still holding hands. Leslie finally realized the touch, but kept her hand in his, squeezing lightly. He squeezed back, but didn’t move to let go. They walked closer to the field, finding a patch in the middle without any flowers in it. They sat down together, wildflowers surrounding them. Leslie sat in front of Ben in between his legs, both of them looking towards the sun. He wrapped his arms around her and he rested his head on top of hers. She took a deep breath and watched as the sun set below the horizon and the darkness started to come over them, the stars beginning to make their way through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All was not well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because one Benjamin Wyatt </span>
  <em>
    <span>had just been impeached.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It happened only two days after his night in the wildflowers with Leslie, and it kept him on such a happy high that he didn't even realize how quickly the numbers were dropping, how badly people had started to hate him, how many jobs were lost because of him. He avoided the news and he spent those two days talking to Leslie, at school or on the phone, talking about everything and nothing. Part of him suspected this was Leslie’s way of keeping him distracted from the inevitable impeachment, but he didn't mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He talked to her about Prom a lot. He helped her wherever he could, wherever she would let him. She was so proud of her work, and Ben was proud of her, too. After all she had done for Partridge High, she deserved to have the best Prom night she could possibly have. She deserved to have the time of her life and see all of that magic come to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it took Ben some time to convince himself, but he knew what he had to do. He fought back the urge to tell himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>you're not good enough for Leslie, </span>
  </em>
  <span>fought back the urge to scream </span>
  <em>
    <span>you can do so much better than me, I can't make this night perfect for you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He viciously shoved every negative thought away and instead, thought outside himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie loved him. Leslie thought Ben was good enough for her. And that was her decision to make… so maybe he should trust her there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Ben was just about to step up and actually do something about that when the news came, and the whole world seemed to stop and crash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was why Ben couldn't allow himself any semblance of happiness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was why he couldn't keep a good thing to save his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He just fucked it all up into nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the television screen in shock, because he didn't think the results would be out for another several hours. Because he thought he was going to be with Leslie when he found out. Because she was supposed to be holding him, and she would've pulled him closer and pressed his face into her shoulder and curled her fingers through his hair until he stopped crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His phone rang and he dropped it, the noise cutting out instantly as it cracked against the hardwood. Henry spun in his seat, having only just realized Ben was watching the screen, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words beat against his skull. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Benjamin Wyatt has been removed from Office with a near unanimous vote.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ben…” Henry whispered, softer than he had ever sounded before. “Hey, I'm so sorry—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Ben was already gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie didn't even live that close to Ben, but he ran there. Because he knew if he got into his car to drive, his brain would be so fuzzy and his eyes too unfocused that he wouldn't be able to see a thing. But the wind hitting his skin and the adrenaline coursing through his veins kept him alive and kept him going, pushing through the burning of his calves, pushing through the shouts he got as he passed houses of all the people that hated him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ice Clown, </span>
  </em>
  <span>they called him. Clever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting dark by the time he was pounding on her door, and she answered instantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ben! I called you, but you never answered—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped her with a hug, rushing forward and collapsing into her arms. She held him tightly, fingers rubbing his back, carding through his hair, whispering </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so sorry </span>
  </em>
  <span>into his ear. And he thought he would cry, but he didn't. It was like he couldn't anymore, like he no longer knew how. He just kind of felt numb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie led him upstairs to her room, and they sat on her bed, hardly any talking between them. She locked her door and he put his head in her lap, closing his eyes as her fingers continued to brush through his hair, pushing it away from his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt better next to her, as much as he could. Because it was like it hadn't quite hit him, yet, how much he had ruined everything, how much his life was over now. That this would be a permanent stain on his record for the rest of his life, and he could never get a good job, could never run for office again, he would only be known forever for a terrible mistake he made at eighteen years old.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was so, </span>
  <em>
    <span>so stupid. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cindy was right,” he mumbled after a while, and it was the first he had spoken since he got there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ben wasn't looking at her, but he knew Leslie was frowning. “Right about what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took a deep breath. “That I'm never going to amount to anything more than being a failed mayor.” Her words from their breakup pounded in his brain, hurting far more than the actual breakup ever could. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell did he ever see in Cindy Eckert? </span>
  </em>
  <span>“I'll be living in a box in the streets with no where to go because I've just ruined my entire life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the way she gasped, tried to keep it contained, but she couldn't hide the way she held him tighter. “That's not true,” she said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Not true. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Don't you ever for a second believe anything that girl says.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She said terrible things about you, you know,” he said, and he wasn't sure why he was telling her this. “Awful things. And I should've done more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Ben,” she cried. “You did what you could. I noticed, believe me, I noticed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I didn't do </span>
  <em>
    <span>enough. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I did the least that I could. But never enough.” His heart hurt, twisting in his chest, but he still couldn't cry. His body shook as if straining to keep the tears at bay, and he willed himself to just </span>
  <em>
    <span>let go </span>
  </em>
  <span>already. Be emotional, he couldn't keep doing this, couldn't keep holding this all in. The entire time he knew Leslie, he’d been burying </span>
  <em>
    <span>deeply </span>
  </em>
  <span>how he felt, so much so that he convinced himself he felt nothing, when that wasn't true. “I should've done more for you. You deserve more than this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sniffled, and when Ben tilted his head so he could look up at her from her lap, he noticed she was crying. And that sight killed him, broke his heart, and more than anything he wanted to stop it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just stop it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He couldn't make her cry like this anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He lifted his hand to brush a tear from her cheek, and she froze against his touch. But not even that was enough. He lifted his head from her lap, and she gasped, grabbing his arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don't go,” she begged, her eyes wide. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn't do anything wrong,” he said. “I’m not leaving. I'm not going anywhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled her so she was laying on her bed next to him, looking at each other, only inches away. He could feel her breath, could smell her hair, could see the tears still shining on her cheeks. He leaned in and pressed kisses to her tear stains. “I didn't mean to make you cry,” he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's okay,” she smiled, her eyelashes fluttering with every kiss he pressed to her skin, every tear he kissed away. “I just wish I could fix this. Make you happy. But I don't know how to do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that was Leslie Knope, wasn't it? Always wanting to fix things, make people better, even when it wasn't her responsibility. Even when people had been unfair to her. She was so good that it seemed impossible that she could exist and want </span>
  <em>
    <span>him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make me happy,” he told her. “Just by being here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do,” he nodded. And, much softer, “I was going to ask you to Prom, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her breath caught in her throat. “Oh! I— why don't you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was the most heartbreaking part, that he couldn't give her everything she wanted. Because he ruined it all not just for him, but also for her. “I don't think I can have a Prom now. I'm not going to be welcome there.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>And she still deserved to go to her own Prom. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He remembered the advice Henry always gave him. “I was going to ask you. I was going to buy you roses and ask you, but I guess I kind of fumbled that one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Leslie giggled, and the sound made him feel safer, much more comfortable. Suddenly, his eyes started to feel heavy. “It's okay,” she told him gently. “I'm more of a wildflower girl anyway.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled as his eyes started to close, his arm curling around her, pulling her to him. Her head rested on his chest, and he pushed his face into her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, feeling as if he could stay here forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d never fallen asleep together before, curled into each other's arms like this, but it was exactly what they needed. It was exactly what made Ben comfortable and safe enough to break down that final wall, to make himself truly vulnerable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was awake and his eyes were closed, and he wouldn't remember it in the morning, but Ben definitely breathed three words to her just seconds before he fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leslie woke uncomfortably to her jeans tight and sticky on her skin. Her hair made her neck damp and she was warm around her stomach. She was still trying to wake up when she remembered.</p><p>
  <em> Oh my god. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ben. </em>
</p><p>She felt his arms around her and his breathing was heavy near her ears. It must still be early, it always was when she woke up. Even if she wanted to, Leslie couldn’t move. She was reminded of everything that happened the day before when Ben unconsciously tightened his grip and pulled her closer to him, as if to will her to stay in bed.</p><p>Her mind rushed back to when she was staring at the television screen, the news suddenly becoming too loud even as she tried to turn the volume down. <em> Benjamin Wyatt has been removed from Office with a near unanimous vote. </em>Leslie tried to call Ben immediately, but to no avail. She was tempted to run to his house herself, but before she could make a final decision, there was a knock on her door.</p><p>Leslie did all that she could, she whispered that she was sorry over and over again. She half expected him to cry, but he didn’t. She would let him, though. It’s not like he hasn’t cried in front of her before. </p><p>If Leslie thought Ben being impeached would be the thing that hurt her the most, then she was not expecting the words that Ben told her at all. He really did believe that he wouldn’t amount to anything, and it killed her. She tried so hard to not let himself believe Cindy. Then he said that Cindy said bad things about her, and honestly that pushed the knife in harder. She wasn’t hurt about the fact that she did that, because what else would you expect, Cindy was a shitty person, but it’s because Ben felt like he didn’t do <em>enough. </em>He never felt like he was enough. She tried to remind him, tried to tell him that she noticed it all.</p><p>Then Ben said that she deserved more than him, and that’s when the dam broke. She loved him, <em> God, she loved him, </em>and she still couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see himself like she saw him.</p><p>When he lifted to wipe her tears she stilled, because she honestly didn’t know what he was about to do. Then he moved his head from her lap and she panicked. Leslie knew she probably overreacted, but she couldn’t bear to see him leave, not again. </p><p>She felt calmer and safer once he pulled her down. She looked at his eyes and fell into them and the way his scent enraptured her. She couldn’t focus on it for long, instead she could only see how exhausted he looked. He looked like he’d gotten less sleep than she did. As the tears continued to fall, Leslie thinks she fell a little bit more in love with Ben as he kissed each one from her cheek.</p><p>“I just wish I could fix this. Make you happy. But I don’t know how to do that.”</p><p>“You make me happy, just by being here.”</p><p>Leslie couldn’t really understand how she could do that, sure she tried to be optimistic and caring, but she always thought she came across as annoying and loud, so she questioned him, having to make sure, “I do?”</p><p>“You do,” Ben nodded his head and his voice became softer when he continued, “I was going to ask you to Prom, you know.”</p><p>Leslie breath hitched at the thought. She could only imagine her and Ben walking in, her in Gryffindor colors and Ben in Ravenclaw, hand in hand. Leslie knew that he knew she would say yes, so she had to question after her initial shock.</p><p>“Oh! I— why don’t you?”</p><p>Ben’s face sunk when he replied to her and she couldn’t help but become sadder when he did so. “I don’t think I can have a Prom now. I’m not welcome there.” Leslie saw Ben bite another thought back before adding, “I was going to ask you. I was going to buy you roses and ask you, but I guess I kind of fumbled that one.” Leslie softened and actually laughed at what he said, the conversation becoming lighter. “I’m more of a wildflower girl anyway.”</p><p>She saw Ben smile and she would do anything to make him smile for longer. She wished she could keep every bad thing away from him. Then he pulled her in tighter and she rested her head on his chest, being able to hear every heartbeat. She felt like she could stay there forever. It was exactly what they needed and she could feel Ben’s final wall break down. Ben’s face was pushed into her hair and she could tell he was about to fall asleep. But, then his chest rumbled, his voice dripping with exhaustion, and he whispered ever so softly.</p><p>
  <em> “I love you.”  </em>
</p><p>Leslie stilled, the sun was beginning to rise and Ben was still breathing heavily beside her. She had remembered everything in order from last night but forgot the most important thing of all.</p><p>
  <em> Ben said I love you. </em>
</p><p>Leslie looked up at him suddenly, as if he was sharing the same thoughts she was at the moment before remembering he was still asleep. She smiled softly for a minute and gripped closer to him. He would probably still be asleep for a few hours so she let herself feel at ease for once. Allowed herself to lay next to the man she loved and feel loved.</p><p>…</p><p>Ben woke a few hours later. Leslie felt his breathing become shorter and his muscles began to stretch and he looked down at her and smiled. She ran her hand through his hair and smiled back. “Morning, sleepyhead.”</p><p>“I haven’t slept that long in weeks.”</p><p>Leslie saddened at the thought, her suspicions being confirmed, but she recovered quickly. “Yeah, me neither.”</p><p>“How many hours did you get?”</p><p>“Five.” Ben laughed at her before rubbing his eyes and settling back into the pillow, his eyes staring straight into hers. Leslie suddenly grew self-conscious when she remembered last night again, not allowing herself the comfort that she had given to herself when he was still asleep. Had he really meant to say that in the first place? He was probably just tired and not thinking straight. She had to ask him about it.</p><p>“Hey, uhm, do you remember anything from last night?”</p><p>Ben knitted his eyebrows together, “I remember coming here and we talked some and then fell asleep.”</p><p>“Right, but what’s the last thing you remember talking about?” Leslie became more anxious as the conversation went on. Did he really not remember?</p><p>“Something about Prom and wildflowers,” he smiled softly but still looked confused, “Why do you ask?”</p><p>Leslie shook her head, “No reason.”</p><p>
  <em> Ben didn’t remember that he told her that he loved her. </em>
</p><p>Leslie kind of broke at the thought, “I’m going to go to the Whiz Palace. The bathroom. Yeah, uh, be right back.” Leslie moved frantically out of bed, leaving a confused Ben in place.</p><p>
  <em> What the hell was she going to do? </em>
</p><p>…</p><p>Leslie and Ben shared a few more awkward conversations before he left and once he did, she called Ann right away. She had no idea what she had gotten herself into.</p><p>Leslie was so happy, but she was also sad. Ben told her he loved her, but forgot? She understood, of course she understood, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.</p><p>Ann listened intently over the phone at everything Leslie was telling her, only speaking when Leslie asked rhetorical questions. Leslie recited their whole conversation to Ann, just like she had been doing to herself all morning. From Cindy, to being happy, to Prom— Leslie gasped. </p><p>
  <em> Prom. </em>
</p><p>Leslie remembered how Ben said he didn’t ask her to Prom because they wouldn’t allow him there, how he’d be hated on. Leslie hated it, she hated it so much. She wished she could yell at everyone at Partridge High and tell them all that Ben was an incredible, amazing person who deserved Prom just like everyone else. Leslie realized she was talking out loud when Ann told her that it was probably not the best idea to yell at everyone at school.</p><p>“Ann, you beautiful sunflower, I love you but I have something very important I have to do.”</p><p>Leslie could feel Ann beaming over the phone, “Get to it then.”</p><p>Leslie felt so much better after the phone call, even if Ben didn’t remember what he said she still would take this idea she had and make it incredible for him. Ben deserved it, more than anyone she’s ever met. Leslie was tingling with excitement when she opened a new binder and began working on a few pages at once.</p><p>Leslie was going to throw a separate Prom for Ben.</p><p>She remembers Ben telling her that he actually enjoyed the Prom theme she chose for Partridge, so that already was decided. Some other plans were easy to maneuver and she could get done tonight, but others were a little tricker. She had to plan a Prom that originally had been thought out for over 500 teenagers, to just the two of them. But she was Leslie <em>freaking </em>Knope, she could get it all done in less than a week.</p><p>…</p><p>A week was exactly the time she needed. By the time the original scheduled time for Prom came around, Leslie was able to finish both Proms in record time, and right under Ben’s nose. She had to spend less time with him, which was only somewhat a plus, since she didn’t have to think about how he completely forgot that he said <em>you know what, </em>but she also missed him like crazy. Leslie thought about Ben all the time and it was driving her nuts not being around him, but when she walked into the school’s auditorium, she couldn’t be prouder.</p><p>After finalizing everything at Partridge, she drove to her house to finish the final details on Ben’s Prom. Leslie had already asked Chris for Ben’s clothing sizes so that she could get him Ravenclaw inspired attire, which Chris helped her ever so generously with. After a few called in favors as well, she was able to get a simple dance floor surrounded by wildflowers in her living room including a simple stereo with <em> Wildflowers </em>by Tom Petty lined up. But of course, keeping with the <em> Harry Potter </em>theme, she included as much from their high school’s Prom to their at home Prom.</p><p>She walked in to see the house glowing. It looked just, if not exactly, like the Prom she came from and Leslie was exhilarated. There were multiple candlesticks hanging from the ceiling, tables were set up with only Ravenclaw and Gryffindor themed snacks, and Leslie dug out all of her <em> Harry Potter </em>memorabilia to decorate the rest of her house.</p><p>Leslie took a step back to look around the room before releasing a deep breath.</p><p>God, she had never been so nervous.  </p><p>***</p><p>Ben felt lonely.</p><p>For those brief moments he woke up and realized he was still in Leslie’s arms, everything had felt right in the world. He held her close and breathed her in and god, he never wanted to leave. He could stay by her side in her bed forever, he felt like, and he would never get sick of it. And for those brief moments, the tragedy of Ice Town seemed to slip away from him.</p><p>But then things got weird, and she acted weird, and she slipped away. And Ben was left alone again.</p><p>He didn't see very much of her for a week. He started staying home from school and getting his work done alone, what with how bad the news of his impeachment had gotten. A newspaper article came out with the headline <em> Ice Town Costs Ice Clown his Town Crown. </em>Real clever with the rhymes, and it completely destroyed any kind of good reputation he had left. </p><p>So, he sat at home for a week, occasionally calling Leslie, understanding she was busy with setting up Prom. He tried not to let it get to him, really. But he would always feel it, late at night, when he would lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling and feel sick to his stomach over what he's done. And it was hard for him to believe even the tiniest moments of happiness were real, that they wouldn't be torn away from him in an instant, hard for him to believe he deserved the luxury of peace in the first place.</p><p>And these nights, he couldn't sleep, so he rolled over and gave in to insomnia and it hit him very suddenly that Partridge, Minnesota was no longer his home. It was just the place he grew up in. He didn't really know what <em>home </em>even meant.</p><p>He wallowed in self-pity for his impeachment and he missed Leslie and as it got closer to Prom night, Ben just felt anxious. He longed for Prom to be over with just so he could get his best friend back, because what he needed more than anything was to hold her in his arms and press his face into her hair and breathe her in.</p><p>Normal best friend things, of course.</p><p>On the night of Prom, Ben set out all the original <em> Star Wars </em>movies, dressed in his most comfortable sweatpants, and was just about to order in some calzones for the night, when Leslie called him, and he had never picked up the phone quicker in his life.</p><p>“Hey,” she said, sounding breathless. “Do you wanna come over?”</p><p>He checked his watch— it was only an hour until Prom started. “What are you talking about? You have Prom to get to.”</p><p>Her breath hitched. “I know. And, uh, I know you can't go to Prom because of… everything, but you <em>were </em>going to ask me to go with you so I figured you should come over and at least see the dress I picked out. If… if you want to, of course.”</p><p>Suddenly, a movie night in bed didn't look so appealing. Just that Leslie thought to invite him over… the thought of her in her Prom dress brought a smile to his lips, one that was probably too big and too giddy and he was definitely blushing. “Yeah… yeah, I'll be right there.”</p><p>He didn't even bother to change, just brushed through his hair so it wasn't sticking straight up and hopped into his car, grinning like an idiot the entire way there. He wished more than anything he could take her to Prom himself, that he was coming over in a tux with an armful of flowers—</p><p>Ben froze. There was a small patch of wildflowers, just along the side of his house. Enough to bug his mother and enough to bring with him.</p><p>
  <em> I’m more of a wildflower girl, anyway. </em>
</p><p>He ran out his car to pick the wildflowers from the ground, imagining the wildflower field they sat in that day, the most at peace he had ever felt in his life. And she was looking at the flowers and he was looking at her, and… wildflowers were a <em> Ben and Leslie thing, </em>weren't they? Henry said girls liked roses, but wildflowers were special, made just for the two of them. And he’d be damned if he didn't bring some to her on the night he was supposed to take her to Prom.</p><p>When he knocked, she only opened her door an inch, just enough for her to poke her head out. Enough for Ben to already get a feel for how beautiful she looked, how perfectly curled her hair was, how she smelled like strawberries and cream and everything good in the world. “I have a surprise for you,” she whispered, and he quirked a brow.</p><p>“I have something for you, too,” he mumbled, the wildflowers held behind his back. She grinned, and stepped outside her house to join him, shutting the door behind her.</p><p>She looked stunning. Gorgeous in red and Ben could've fallen to the floor, drinking her in, memorizing exactly how she looked to him in this moment and all moments from here on out. He was staring, and he didn't even realize until she giggled.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” he whispered to her in some kind of awe. “I'm serious, you're like… a flower.”</p><p>She giggled again. “You said you have something for me?”</p><p><em> Flower, that's right. </em>“Oh! Yeah. Um… I felt bad, that I couldn't bring you to your Prom, especially when I know you worked so hard on it. And I couldn't even ask you right, so I just… I brought you these.” He pulled the wildflowers from behind his back, small and nothing special, but with the way her eyes lit up, he knew just how much it meant to her. “I wish I could ask you, and give these to you while I do, and I'm sorry that I couldn't.”</p><p>“Well… why don't you ask me?”</p><p>He blinked. “I can't go to Prom.”</p><p>“No, but you can still ask me. Just for the sake of doing it. You can ask me and give these to me and it'll be like… what if, you know? Give it a shot.” She touched his arm, squeezed it gently. “Just trust me.”</p><p>He took a deep breath, and imagined a slightly different scenario. A world where Ben never ran for Mayor and never destroyed the town, where he and Leslie came together all on their own without the angst surrounding them, where he was brave enough to stand before her and ask her this one simple question. “Leslie Knope,” he started, and he was surprised by how clear his voice sounded. “Will you go to Prom with me?”</p><p>There was a moment of silence, where Leslie just smiled at him, as if stunned, and Ben took the moment to be just a little bit braver. He reached out his hand and slipped one wildflower into her hair near her ear, tucking the stem into strands of blonde, as if it was the one missing piece they needed. She smiled, leaned against his touch. “I thought you’d never ask.”</p><p>But when she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside her house, the sight before him was the very last thing he could've expected.</p><p>Her living room was completely filled with decorations: hanging lights, stuffed owls, posters and House crests lining the walls, the red of Gryffindor and the blue of Ravenclaw most prominent. She had snacks set out and the furniture was pushed aside so there was room for dancing, music playing softly from the speakers. And suddenly, her secrecy tonight and over the past week, her asking him to come over, having him ask her to Prom… it was all starting to make a lot more sense now.</p><p>“Did you…” he stuttered, staring around the room. “Are you…?”</p><p>“This is for you,” she told him, grinning up at him. “I knew you couldn't go to Prom, but I wanted to make sure you still had the experience.”</p><p>“But… but what about your Prom? You spent so much time on it, and you're going to miss it—”</p><p>“You think I care about that?” She pressed her hand to his chest, right over his heart. “I only ever wanted to go if I was walking in with you.”</p><p>Ben felt like he could kiss her in that moment.</p><p>“Good lord, I am… terribly underdressed for this,” he realized suddenly, looking down at himself. “If I had known—”</p><p>“I got that figured out, too,” she grinned, before passing him a bag. “They're blue. For Ravenclaw. And because you look <em>really </em>good in blue. Chris might have helped me with this part.”</p><p>“Chris knew? And he didn't slip up and tell me? God, I… I don't know what to say.”</p><p>“How about you start by getting dressed so we can get to dancing?”</p><p>He didn't think he’d ever heard a better idea in his life. And the clothes fit perfectly (he supposed he did owe Chris thanks, Ben hadn't been the very best friend to him lately), and the way Leslie looked at him when he came out fully dressed… well, he felt light, and he felt happy, and…</p><p>Okay, yeah, he really fucking wanted to kiss her.</p><p>The music was soft and for a moment, only a split moment, she looked awkward, like she was unsure of herself, but it all slipped away when he tugged her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, fingers gently sliding up into his hair, while his hand curled around her waist to rest against the small of her back. </p><p>They giggled, trying to sway in time to the music, but neither of them would pretend they were the very best dancers. It was all they could do to wrap their arms tighter around the other until their bodies were firmly pressed together, and she was soft under his touch and her head rested on his chest as if to hear his heartbeat. They stilled, just like this, and Ben could hear the song that was playing.</p><p>
  <em> You belong among the wildflowers. </em>
</p><p>He looked down at her to see the flower still tucked into her hair, just as beautiful as her. He imagined her again laying in that wildflower field, where she smiled at him and he felt strong, like no matter what happened in the future, there was no one he would rather go into battle with than her.</p><p>
  <em> You belong somewhere close to me. </em>
</p><p>He held her closer, as close as he could get to her, until he was surrounded by her, blonde hair and the smell of her and the red of her dress. Soft hands on his neck, in his hair, and he choked, chills down his spine.</p><p>
  <em> Far away from your trouble and worry. </em>
</p><p>She looked up at him then, raising her head from his chest to meet his eyes, and neither of them could look away. And Ben knew, he <em>knew, </em> right here and now, that this was where he belonged, and this was where he felt safe, and everything to do with his impeachment slipped away from him. It was just the two of them, and he had never felt more at home. <em> Home. </em>He started to understand the word again.</p><p>
  <em> You belong somewhere you feel free. </em>
</p><p>Her eyes were very blue and very wide and Ben never felt more sure about something in his life. Their swaying stopped and she looked a little scared, a little worried, but Ben just cupped her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing her skin, and he whispered the last line of the song to her one more time.</p><p>
  <em> “You belong somewhere you feel free.” </em>
</p><p>He brought her face up to his, and kissing her was the most natural thing in the world. She fell into him and it was tentative, at first, as she sighed against his lips and melted into his arms, as if she was unsure this would last. And when she pulled away, just for a moment, he instantly tugged her back. She was soft, and her lips parted against his, turning into a clash of teeth and giggling as they couldn't stop smiling, couldn't stop grinning at the other and then they were both grabbing at each other's faces, breathless and gasping and bright red.</p><p>He pushed a strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. “You kind of suck at dancing, you know,” he teased her, and she laughed.</p><p>“So do you. But you love it anyway.” Her choice of words made her pause, her eyes widening, realizing what she had given up. She tore her arms away from him and took a step back, burying her face in her hands. “Oh god, wait, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that… that you… I know that you don't—”</p><p>“I love you,” Ben said, and Leslie froze.</p><p>“Wait… what?”</p><p>“I love you.” He stepped closer to her and grabbed her arms, needing her to be close to him again. “I love you.” He had never felt more certain of any feeling in his life than this one, and now that it was out, he needed to say it over and over again, he needed to say it for everytime he should have but never did. “I love you, Leslie.”</p><p>There were soft tears in her eyes that Ben brushed away. “I love you, too.”</p><p>He kissed her again, gentle and soft, one hand cupping her neck so his fingers could curl into her hair. He lingered there, and he whispered those three words again and again against her lips like a mantra. <em> I love you. I love you. I love you. </em></p><p>And there was no trouble, or worry.</p><p>He felt free.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Bliss. </em>
</p><p>Leslie felt pure bliss.</p><p>Ben finally said it. The three words that she had spoken to him so long ago. The three words that she never thought she would expect to hear from Ben. But here in her living room on a late Friday night surrounded by <em> Harry Potter </em>merchandise, Ben said <em> I love you. </em></p><p>Leslie pulled away from the kiss reluctantly, but she had to make sure this was real, had to make sure that he was actually standing in front of her and told her something that she had only thought about when sleep had finally taken over. </p><p>She glanced over Ben to see him more relaxed than she’s seen in months, but she also realized that the tension in her shoulders was gone. She felt like she could finally breathe again. And this time when the tears fell down her cheeks, they weren't out of sadness.</p><p>Leslie smiled up at Ben and saw the pure softness in his eyes and how it looked like he might also break into tears at any second. They were both vulnerable and this time neither of them would run away.</p><p>Ben moved to kiss her again but when he wrapped his hand around his neck, he stilled. She felt him move his finger around her neck to the chain that’s hooked together. He held it ever so softly before moving down to see a key attached at the bottom. Leslie followed his eyes until he looked at her and she became slightly embarrassed.</p><p>“What’s this?”</p><p>Leslie grabbed ahold of the key and held it up, “Oh, this? Oh, nothing, it’s, nothing. Just my house key.”</p><p>Ben tilted his head towards her, brows furrowing, “Your house key is attached to your car keys. What <em> is </em>this?” Ben asked her like he already knew the answer, which Leslie was pretty sure he did. He didn't sound angry, though. No, instead his tone was soft and his eyes were still shining from the high from earlier.</p><p>“It’s the Mayoral Office key.” Leslie looked down towards the floor, feet shuffling, and her face turned bright red. </p><p>Ben hooked his finger under her chin and made her look at him. “Why do you still have it?” His tone was even softer than before, and she couldn't help but fidget with the necklace.</p><p>“Because it was all of you that I had left.” Leslie softened and tears brimmed her eyes.</p><p>“Oh, Leslie.”</p><p>Ben cupped her face before moving to kiss her forehead, and then began to kiss all over her face, reaching any space he could, before landing on her lips. This kiss was much softer than the last. This time it was long and tentative and Leslie felt like she could last here forever.</p><p>They kissed a few more times, but it broke out into soft smiles and clashing teeth and they broke apart to rest their foreheads together.</p><p>“You have me,” Ben said it softly, and all Leslie could do was hug him closer and start swaying to the music that was queued. They laughed at the other’s bad dancing and the soft jokes, before everything came crashing down.</p><p>The door opened abruptly and they both turned to find Marlene Griggs-Knope walking through the door. Leslie sighed heavily and all Ben could do was stare. Leslie moved in front of Ben, almost protectively, already knowing what was about to happen.</p><p>Marlene looked at Leslie straight-faced before glancing at Ben, then back to Leslie, her face breaking into something that looked of disappointment. She clicked her tongue and shook her head until she spoke up, “Leslie, Leslie, Leslie, what have you gotten yourself into?”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Leslie wasn't actually apologizing, because she could already hear the bullshit her mother was about to spit at her.</p><p>“How can you associate with this, this, <em> failure? </em>” Marlene waved her hand at Ben before moving her glasses down her nose to look at them over the brim. </p><p>Leslie’s mouth gawked open before moving closer to her, anger already boiling. Her voice dropped to a whisper, but the anger was evident, “Excuse me?”</p><p>“He’s a failure! He walked through Partridge High and lost, <em> to you, </em> then won a <em> Mayoral Campaign, </em> only to be impeached. And you’re, <em> what, </em>throwing him a makeshift Prom?”</p><p>Leslie started crying, but her tears were hot and angry and she shoved them away before her mom could see. “You don’t get to talk to him like that. He’s done a lot more for me than you ever have,” Leslie was pointing her finger in Marlene’s chest and she had more confidence than she’d felt in a while. She was about to start yelling at her mom some more when she felt a soft tug to her arm.</p><p>“Leslie, don’t.” She turned to see Ben shaking his head, but there were trails of tears on his face and all of Leslie’s anger melted away, only turning into concern. She cupped his face gently and searched his face frantically only to embrace him tightly. Once they let go, Leslie turned back to Marlene and saw a flash of longing before she returned to her natural withholding self. </p><p>“Ben’s staying here tonight. And until further notice.”</p><p>“He is?” </p><p>“I am?” </p><p>Ben and Marlene spoke up at the same time and Leslie nodded her head confidently, looking between the two of them, “Yep.” </p><p>Leslie looked to her mother and expected some kind of argument only to see some of her exterior break. “Fine, just clean up the living room.” Marlene glanced around the room with confusion before looking towards the pair still hanging on tightly to each other, “What is this? Lord of the Rings?”</p><p>“Oh my god, no,” Leslie shook her head in exasperation, “We’re going up to my room.”</p><p>Leslie heard Ben try and stifle a laugh which she slapped him playfully on the arm for. Ben mocked pain, muttering a <em> good Lord </em>before holding onto her hand and following her up the stairs to her room. Ben sat on her bed as Leslie shut her door and locked it, before leaning on it and taking a deep breath.</p><p>“You didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>Leslie walked over and sat in Ben’s lap, arms wrapping around his neck as she leaned her head down to his shoulder. He wrapped his hands around her back and started rubbing it softly, but stilled for a split second to place a kiss on the top of her head. “Yes, I did.”</p><p>“Say it again.” Leslie said it ever so softly, but Ben seemed to know what she meant. He pulled back to look her in the eyes and his lips curved into a small smile.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>***</p><p>They were only three words, but they were the only ones Ben ever wanted to hear again. And he wanted to whisper it into every inch of her skin.</p><p>He pulled Leslie closer to him as she straddled him on her bed, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. “I love you,” he told her again, and she smiled. “I love you.” He kissed her lips, her cheek, her jaw, her chin. “I love you.” He kissed her neck, which made her gasp, and he kissed underneath her ear, as her fingers curled into his hair.</p><p>“I love you, too,” she said to him, and he couldn't help the smile on his face, couldn't help but say it again.</p><p>“I love you, Leslie Knope.”</p><p>“I love you, Ben Wyatt.”</p><p>He grinned, those words music to his ears, and he held her waist tighter to flip her over, laying her on her bed and climbing on top of her. He held himself over her by his elbows and continued to kiss her neck, all while whispering, <em> “I love you. I love you. I love you.” </em></p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Ben jumped up, detaching himself from her neck to stare at her incredulously. “Did… did you just quote <em> Stars Wars? </em>Did you really just Solo me?”</p><p>She giggled, grabbing the front of his suit jacket to pull him down closer. “I sure did, Wyatt. I guess the Padawan has become the Jedi Master.”</p><p>“Good lord, that— that is so hot.”</p><p>Leslie pulled him back to her lips, and this time when they kissed, it was slow and deliberate, deep and passionate. There was months worth of angst poured into the kiss, months they should've been kissing but they weren't. Her fists were balled into his shirt, pulling it up, and he cradled her head, fingers running through her hair, messing it up. Their legs tangled together and their lips parted, breathing each other in, until Ben felt the familiar wetness on his cheeks and she pulled away.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Leslie whispered to him, wiping his cheeks with her thumb. “Why are you crying, babe?”</p><p>Her casually calling him <em>babe </em>only seemed to make him cry harder, and he clung to her, laying so he could duck his head into her shoulder. “Leslie, I… This is great. It really is. I love you for this, and for taking care of me. But what am I supposed to do now?”</p><p>She pushed his hair back from his forehead, holding his head to her chest. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“This impeachment… How am I supposed to move on? My parents are ashamed of me, my brother and my sister get harassed for even knowing me, and I can't imagine what they'll do to you. It's just…” He took a deep breath, and accepted the harsh reality. “I grew up here. And Partridge isn't my home anymore. Where do I go?”</p><p>
  <em> How can I prove I'm responsible again? How can I run for Office again someday without people laughing at me? </em>
</p><p>Leslie frowned, and kissed the top of his head. “We’ll figure it out. I promise you, we’ll figure it out.”</p><p><em> “We </em>will?”</p><p>“Mhm.” She pressed her forehead to his and smiled against his skin. “Because I'll be your family now.”</p><p>...</p><p>Two months later, Ben and Leslie were driving away from Partridge, Minnesota with their car packed to the brim. It had taken a while, really, to get Leslie to decide on what she really needed to pack, and what she could leave behind, and even then, she sat next to him contemplating whether she had everything she needed.</p><p>“I feel very strongly I should go back for that pink birdhouse,” she was saying, and Ben grinned and rolled his eyes from the driver’s seat. “It's such a pretty color! And what if a pretty bird comes around and needs a house? Oh god, maybe we should go back—”</p><p>“Babe, relax,” he laughed. “You don't need that birdhouse, it's just college.”</p><p>She pursed her lips and leaned back against the passenger seat, seeming to fight an internal battle before finally releasing the tension in her shoulders. “Okay, yeah, you're right. College. You have directions, right?”</p><p>“We’ve been driving for three hours so far, I hope I've got directions.”</p><p><em> “Oh, haha,” </em>she mocked him, while also laughing for real. “I'm just nervous. I haven't been back there for a couple summers.”</p><p>Ben chanced a glance at her as he drove, how her eyes were wide with anticipation, her hair bright and windswept with the window rolled down. <em> Beautiful. </em>“Well, we’ll be spending most of our time out of town anyway, at the University. So just… focus on that?”</p><p>Leslie smiled, closed her eyes, and was silent for a long time. The wind from the open window pushed her hair into her face as Ben kept driving, farther and farther away from Partridge, and closer to somewhere new, somewhere he’d never been before, but a journey he was willing to take.</p><p>He had Leslie by his side, after all, and there was no one he would rather plunge into the unknown with than her. No one he trusted more.</p><p>She was his family now.</p><p>“I think you're really going to like it,” Leslie said at long last. She smiled wistfully, as if remembering childhood memories of visiting her extended family during the summers. Remembering raccoons, larger citizens, odd drinking fountain habits, insane City Hall meetings, Harvest Festivals, and a mini horse that she had told him all about, things that she promised to show him when they got there. “I think… I think this is going to be a good place for us to move on. A good place for you to be happy again.”</p><p>And once it was hard to believe that he could be happy again, but he believed <em>her. </em></p><p>It was late by the time they arrived, driving up on a small sign on the outskirts of the town. Dark green, beat down, and a silly town slogan, but Leslie teared up in relief and looked over at Ben.</p><p>“Welcome to Pawnee, Indiana,” she told him, and Ben smiled. “Welcome to your new home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is is so incredibly bittersweet, but it's been so fun to create this story. We really hope you all enjoyed this as much as we enjoyed writing it. Thank you so, so, much for reading it and sticking with us until the end. We love and like you all. Jordan and Gracie &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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